


Crossing the Streams

by maxride003



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Clusterfuck AU, Fake AH Crew, Hybrid AU, Magical Babies AU, Seriously all the AUs, Superpower FAHC AU, The ones currently involved are:, kid AU, minecraft au, spooky scary au, x-ray and vav
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-03
Updated: 2016-06-15
Packaged: 2018-04-24 15:20:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 34,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4924756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maxride003/pseuds/maxride003
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is based on the clusterfuck au being created by Tumblr user lux--et--umbra. All of the various AU versions of the AH guys wind up in the FAHC universe, and more of them brings more chaos. A collection of stories about the various AUs and the shit that happens with all of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. X-Ray and Vav Meet FAHC

**Author's Note:**

> So Lux's AU has made me really want to write, and so here it is. The start of the Clusterfuck AU. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoy writing it.

It was a pretty normal day, all things considered. The crew had just recently finished a job, and they were taking the time to relax and recover afterwards. Everyone was patched up from various injuries (a knife wound on Michael’s arm, a graze from a bullet on Ryan’s side, the gash in Gavin’s head from tripping over a rock and falling), and they were spending their time in the living room of the penthouse.

Gavin, Michael, and Ray were having a heated battle in Halo, which mostly consisted of Gavin and Michael dying a thousand times while Ray hid away and sniped, or Gavin sneaking around behind people and killing them before they noticed. Ryan had fallen asleep in an armchair, his mask dangling loosely from one hand that was draped over the arm of the chair, his mouth open slightly. Jack sat on one end of the couch, legs pulled up to his chest and a book propped against his knees, while Geoff sprawled across the rest of the couch. He was watching the lads playing their game and taking a celebratory post-heist drink any time he felt thirsty.

Everything was perfectly normal, just like it always was after a heist. Until someone knocked on the door.

Geoff frowned and swung his legs off the couch, setting the bottle down and putting his hand to the pistol that never left his side. No one ever came knocking unless they were delivering food, and Geoff would have known if someone had ordered something. Ordering food was never easy with the crew, and he definitely would have noticed the debate about where to order from and what to get.

The lads paused their game, looking at the door as well, and Jack lowered his book. All of them looked either suspicious and concerned, and Geoff knew they were just as ready for trouble as he was. And apparently so were the people on the other side of the door.

Just as Geoff was pushing himself upright to go answer it, the door practically flew open, slamming against the wall hard enough to crack the plaster, and Geoff was afraid the door was going to fall off its hinges. Geoff pulled out his pistol, leveling it at the door, and he heard the others moving to do the same. But he froze, gun dropping slightly and head tilting as he tried to figure out what the fuck he was seeing.

It looked, for all the world, like Michael and Ryan were standing in the open doorway. But that couldn’t be true, because Michael was sitting close enough to touch, and Ryan had just woken up a few feet away. Not to mention the fact that, besides the faces, they really didn’t look that much alike.

The Ryan look-alike was without face paint or a mask, but he did have a cracked golden crown perched on his head. He wore what looked like a suit jacket and bowtie similar to Geoff’s, and then a kilt and knee-high socks, which really was not something that Geoff thought he’d ever see on Ryan. Or anyone that looked enough like Ryan for it to count.

Then there was the Michael look-alike. He was scowling fiercely, which wasn’t exactly out of place for Michael, and he was the one wearing face paint; three lines of it on either cheek. He wore no shirt and had a bearskin draped over his shoulders, with more paint and something akin to leather bracers decorating his arms. His pants ended in boots that looked like paws, and he had a giant fucking sword sitting on his back. The damn thing looked like it was as tall as Michael himself, and it looked quite real. Or at least metal.

“I’m sorry. I hope you don’t mind that we let ourselves in,” said not-Ryan, a slow and particularly creepy smile spreading across his face. Geoff could only blink at them and then look at the actual Michael and Ryan, both of whom looked quite surprised.

“Please tell me I’m still dreaming,” Ryan said, and Geoff realized his voice and the not-Ryan’s voice matched perfectly, except for the tone. Geoff was starting to hope that he was actually the one dreaming. Maybe he’d had a little too much to drink and passed out again. Alcohol sometimes gave him really weird and fucked-up dreams.

“Michael, why are you and Ryan dressed up at our door?” Gavin asked blankly, and Ryan finally looked away from the door to arch an eyebrow at Gavin incredulously.

Not-Michael’s scowl twisted into a snarl when Gavin spoke and he reached for his sword. “Mad King did not tell Mogar the meddlers were here. And what magic is this? That is not Mogar,” he growled, staring hotly at the lads and pulling his sword clear. Geoff’s gun went up again quickly and he jumped to his feet, standing in front of the lads on the floor protectively.

But not-Michael (was he saying his name was Mogar?) didn’t manage to make it even a full step before not-Ryan threw his arm out across Mogar’s chest, stopping him. “Now, now, Mogar. Let’s not be hasty. They are the ones that will help us.”

“Okay, what the fuck is going on?” Geoff demanded, and even though he hadn’t meant to shout, he’d certainly drawn everyone’s attention to him. “You two wannabe assholes need to tell me what is happening, right now, before I shoot you where you stand!”

“Of course. How rude of me,” said not-Ryan, stepping in front of Mogar and into the penthouse. Geoff heard the pump of a shotgun behind him, though he wasn’t sure who held it; he didn’t want to take his eyes off the two look-alikes even for a second. Not-Ryan stopped, spreading his arms, that smile still on his face. “I am the Mad King. My angry associate here goes by the name of Mogar. We’ve only come here seeking your help.” His smile faded, to be replaced with a look that was eerily similar to Ryan’s sad puppy dog eyes.

“Okay… But why do you look like Ryan and Michael on Halloween?” Ray asked.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I went as a normal guy for Halloween. Not…whatever that is,” Ryan protested and Michael snorted out a laugh.

“That’s part of our problem. May we come inside?” the Mad King asked. No one answered and Geoff stared at the sword Mogar still held ready in his hands. “Mogar, put your sword away. Now is not the time to be fighting.”

Mogar glared and said forcefully, “Mogar will not put it away. Not until the imposters remove their weapons.”

Geoff frowned, eyeing Mogar and the sword warily. He felt like Mogar could do considerable damage with that weapon, despite the six crew members being fully armed, and a fight was not what he wanted. The cops didn’t know where the crew lived yet; they didn’t need gunshots and blood drawing them here like a moth to flame.

“Put down your guns, everyone,” Geoff declared, lowering his own, though it didn’t leave his hand. He glanced at the crew over his shoulder to see the others slowly doing the same, except for Ryan, who kept his shotgun trained on the doorway, a scowl on his face. “Ryan. Gun down.”

“You can’t seriously be trusting these two,” Ryan said without looking away from the door, sighting down the gun readily.

“I never said that. But we don’t need anyone dying in our fucking house,” Geoff said firmly. Ryan looked over at him and glared but he lowered his shotgun with an annoyed growl. When Geoff turned back to the two at the door, he saw the Mad King regarding Ryan with interest. “If you put away the sword, you can come in, just to get you out of the fucking hallway.”

Mogar looked at each of them and then put his sword back on his back with ease, crossing his arms over his chest. He followed the Mad King inside and closed the door forcefully. Something must have been completely broken when they’d forced the door open, because it just bounced back, and Mogar growled and shoved it into the frame until it stayed put. Gavin tried to cover up a laugh, but it just came out as a choked chuckle instead.

“So what’s the problem?” Jack asked, speaking up for the first time and moving up beside Geoff. “And the explanation for…this.” He waved his hand at the two of them vaguely and the Mad King nodded.

“Mogar and I seem to be a little far from home. An…acquaintance of mine has a knack for inventing but it wasn’t fully completed and malfunctioned during an argument, of sorts,” the Mad King said, and Geoff frowned at the vague details. “But it sent us into your world, and we were hoping you could help us.”

“Our world? What the fuck are you talking about?” Michael demanded.

“Did you really think this would be happening in your world normally?” the Mad King scoffed. He paused and looked around, one eyebrow arched. “Though I am surprised that we’re the only ones here.”

“Only ones? There are more of you?” Jack asked, surprised, and Geoff understood his feelings quite well. He didn’t want any more look-alike weirdos busting into the penthouse.

But apparently what Geoff wanted didn’t matter, because the door swung open firmly again, slamming into the wall once more. “Oh, shit. Sorry,” said someone who sounded an awful lot like Gavin and Geoff groaned.

“Don’t worry, citizens! We’re here to help!” declared another familiar voice, and Geoff very slowly looked behind the Mad King and Mogar, his stomach sinking at the thought of more strangeness.

As Geoff had dreaded, two people who looked just like Ray and Gavin stood in the doorway now, though he had no idea what the fuck they were wearing. It looked like spandex superhero suits, complete with capes and logos on the front. Not-Gavin had his fists on his hips in a ridiculous superhero pose, and not-Ray had a hand to his glasses for some reason.

“Ah, X-Ray and Vav. I was wondering when you were going to show up,” the Mad King said pleasantly, and it seemed like that one comment was the last straw for Michael. He suddenly burst out laughing, until he was gasping for breath and doubled over on the floor, tears building in his eyes. Geoff blinked down at him, but his laughter was making a grin slowly spread across Ryan’s face as well, and Gavin was starting to giggle.

“Are you two wearing fucking spandex? Seriously?” Michael gasped out, pointing to X-Ray and Vav or whoever the hell they were. The two superheroes looked confused, glancing at each other and then at the crew, and X-Ray’s hand slowly fell from his glasses.

Gavin tried to frown but it didn’t quite work as he also attempted to smother his laughter. “Alternate you is wearing a damn bear skin! Alternate Ryan’s got a bloody skirt!” he pointed out, jabbing a finger at the Mad King and Mogar. All of the random alternate versions of them (which was very strange for Geoff to even think, and was starting to make his head hurt), just stared at the crew strangely.

“Yeah, but alternate me’s got the legs for it. Damn,” Ryan said, and Geoff couldn’t tell if he was actually proud of this fact or just poking fun at the lads. Ray looked at all of the alternates standing in their doorway, opened and closed his mouth a few times, shook his head, and turned back to the television. He started the game up again and started killing off Gavin and Michael without the two of them even playing.

Mogar glared at X-Ray and Vav, his hand near his sword again, though this time the Mad King didn’t seem overly interested in stopping the bear man. “We, uh, came to help,” Vav said, looking around in confusion and pulling at one of his red gloves.

“You do not help. They will help Mogar and Mad King,” Mogar declared, gesturing to the crew, and Vav frowned.

“We didn’t come to help you. We came to help them!” he protested.

“Yeah, I think we got this,” Ray said without turning away from his game, and Gavin finally realized he’d started it again and squawked, scrambling for his controller and trying to move somewhere that he could hide from Ray’s deadly sniping.

Jack sighed and Geoff rubbed at the headache growing behind his eyes. “Okay, we need to figure this out,” Jack said, stepping past Geoff and looking at the alternates. “You two, get inside and close the door. You, leave that sword right there or someone’s going to shoot you.”

“You can have fun with this zoo; I need a drink,” Geoff declared, throwing his hands up in the air and stomping into the kitchen. Things were just getting too weird for him to do it without copious amounts of alcohol, and the bottle he’d had simply wasn’t going to be enough.


	2. The Crossover Heist

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god, thank you all for your comments and kudos and whatnot! I can't believe you all liked this so much, but I'm glad you did. Hopefully this next chapter continues to amuse.
> 
> Also, more AUs will be joining the fray shortly. There are just a lot of X-Ray and Vav ideas, and I really wanted to get this one out there before the FAHC got overrun by alternates.

Things were stranger than normal in the penthouse, but Jack was trying to deal with it as best he could. Really, after the first hour or so, things had settled down significantly, which was a relief. Jack had been afraid someone was going to die for a while, and now it was only a nagging worry.

It had been pretty obvious that X-Ray and Vav didn’t exactly get along with Mogar and the Mad King. An argument had started between the superheroes and the Mad King, and though the Mad King had only looked mildly amused, Mogar had become more irritated until he drew his sword again, and Jack had broken them up quickly before it had escalated further.

The next problem came when Vav actually took a good look at the crew. He had seemed confused but interested by Ray and Gavin, but he hadn’t seem to like Michael and Ryan as much.

“Wait, you all are a team? You work with Mogar and the Mad King?” Vav had demanded of Ray and Gavin, pointing to where Michael and Ryan had been hanging out and talking, drawing their attention. Ray and Gavin didn’t look away from their game, since after X-Ray had picked up Michael’s controller, Gavin was seriously outmatched. He had been trying to best the other two any way possible, with minimal success.

“Hey, we’re different than them,” Michael had protested. “I at least wear clothes. And I don’t say my name every five fucking seconds.” Mogar had growled and glared at Michael at the comment, and Michael had glared back.

“Though, I mean, Mad King’s a pretty cool name. You could call me that if you wanted,” Ryan had said thoughtfully and Jack had only been able to describe the motion the Mad King had made as preening.

“No, Ryan,” the crew had said at roughly the same time and Ryan had pouted, crossing his arms over his chest.

Geoff had gotten very drunk in the kitchen by himself and Jack decided to leave the rest of the crew with their alternates to check on his friend. When he left the living room, Gavin, Ray, and X-Ray had moved on to a racing game with Vav sitting close by X-Ray. Gavin seemed to hope the change in games would help his losing streak, but he didn’t seem to be doing much better racing than he had shooting. Ryan and the Mad King were having a staring contest while they sized each other up, Mogar stood at the edge of the room watching everyone suspiciously, and Michael had seemed fairly relaxed where he was sprawled on the couch, but his hand was lingering near his gun and he kept flicking quick glances over at Mogar.

Jack seriously hoped he’d hear a fight if one broke out, soon enough that he could keep anyone from dying. But he also didn’t think leaving Geoff alone was the best idea right now.

When Jack stepped into the kitchen, he found Geoff sitting cross-legged in a corner, his jacket thrown to the side and his bowtie hanging untied around his neck. A bottle of whisky was in his hands, mostly gone, and Jack had a sneaking suspicion that it had been one of the new bottles.

“How’s it going?” Jack asked gently, leaning on the counter next to Geoff.

“Please tell me they’re gone,” Geoff moaned, looking up at Jack blearily. The whisky was getting to him, after spending all day drinking alcohol like Ryan downed soda or Gavin went through Red Bull. “I don’t…I can’t even deal with our collection of idiots. How…what…I don’t…” He frowned, apparently unable to figure out his sentence, and he took a drink instead. Jack leaned down and took the bottle from his hands, making the fully grown crew boss whine, “Hey. That’s mine.”

“If you pass out here again, I’m not taking you to your bed,” Jack scoffed, setting the bottle aside. “Besides, do you really want to be pass-out drunk right now? With all of this mess going on?”

Geoff thought about it for a second and then nodded emphatically. “Yes. I can’t think of a better time for it than now,” he said firmly. “You know we have a new heist coming up, right? What if they’re not gone? What if we have to leave them here? How…What would…I don’t know what would happen, Jack.”

Jack shrugged, sliding down the cabinet to sit by Geoff’s side. The crew boss was frowning down at the tattoos on his knuckles, studying them intently. “Geoff. Geoff, look at me,” Jack said, and Geoff turned to look at him like asked. “Why don’t we just take them with us?”

“What?” Geoff barked, his voice cracking, and Jack flinched away from the loud shout, rubbing at his ear. He heard a pause in conversation from the gaming group in the living room at the sound. “Why would we do that? They’d screw everything up! They already broke our damn door!”

“Do you have a better idea? The new heist is tomorrow, and I really don’t think they’re going to be gone, unless you know how to send them home in the next few hours,” Jack said and Geoff frowned, shaking his head. “And I really don’t like the thought of leaving them here. We’re going to come back to the penthouse destroyed and someone dead.”

“Someone could watch them,” Geoff suggested and Jack arched an eyebrow.

“Who? You’d never miss a heist, Ray needs to be our eyes, Michael’s the only one that can actually use his explosives, I’m the only one who can properly fly, we need Ryan to actually shoot, and you had better not be suggesting Gavin stay behind. He’d probably be the one ending up dead,” Jack pointed out, ticking off each crew member on his fingers.

Geoff was quiet for a moment and then groaned, running a hand through his hair. “You’re right. I guess,” he griped, staring out the doorway toward the living room. “We should clue them in, then. Let’s meet up in the war room.” He started to push himself up and then fell back against the cabinets, frowning around him in confusion. “I can’t get up, Jack.”

Jack laughed and stood up, pulling Geoff to his feet. “You go on ahead. Maybe grab something to drink that isn’t going to make you drunk,” he said and Geoff lifted his hand in acknowledgement, leaving the kitchen with slightly wobbly steps and heading to the large spare room they’d dubbed the war room ages ago.

As soon as Jack was sure Geoff was fine on his own, he wandered out into the living room, pausing at what he ended up coming in on.

Somehow, he had completely missed the onset of another fight. Ryan stood in the Mad King’s face, scowling, his gun in hand, while the Mad King returned his stare with an indifferent smirk and crossed arms. Mogar stood close to the Mad King, sword drawn again, and Michael had backed Ryan up. It was like looking at a really weird funhouse mirror or something the way they stood there.

Gavin, Ray, Vav, and X-Ray were on their feet, and Vav looked pissed, his fists clenched at his side. X-Ray lurked a little further behind them with Ray at his side, talking to him quietly, and Gavin standing protectively in front of them. Jack had no idea what had happened, but at this point, he didn’t think it mattered.

“Dammit, I can’t leave you all alone for two minutes without someone starting a fight, can I?” Jack said sharply, putting his hands on his hips and glaring at everyone.

“It wasn’t us,” Gavin protested, pointing at the Mad King. “He–”

“I don’t care,” Jack interrupted. “Geoff wants everyone in the war room. Now. Weapons away and no fighting!”

“War room?” Vav echoed, relaxing slightly and looking at Jack in confusion.

“Come on, I’ll show you,” Gavin offered. He was the first to leave, tailed by Vav, Ray, and X-Ray. Michael, Ryan, the Mad King, and Mogar stayed where they were for a moment until the Mad King’s smirk turned into a pleasant smile.

“Come along, Mogar. Let’s not be rude and ignore our hosts,” he said, turning away and putting a hand on Mogar’s arm. The bearskin-clad man glared but slowly put his sword away, following the Mad King after snarling at Ryan and Michael. The two crew members only relaxed once the other two turned away.

Ryan met Jack’s eyes and shrugged, putting his gun back. “What? I’m not letting him walk all over the lads. Or anyone that looks like the lads,” he said, moving back toward the war room himself.

Jack trailed along behind everyone with a heavy sigh, and thought that maybe Geoff had the right idea. Maybe getting drunk was a good coping mechanism.

Geoff was leaning against the wall next to the whiteboard when Jack entered the room, one hand covering his eyes, though he looked up when Jack shut the door. The plans for the heist were hanging from the whiteboard with scribbled notes beside them, and papers decorated the large table in the center of the room. Newspaper clippings about the crew hung on the walls, some of them with post-it notes that added the crew’s own insights to the events being written about.

The lads had taken seats at the table, but they were the only ones who had. The Mad King and Mogar lingered near one wall, and the Mad King was looking around the room with interest. Ryan leaned against the wall beside the door, watching the two of them. X-Ray and Vav were looking at the newspaper clippings, and Vav flicked one of the pink post-its that had a bit smiley face drawn on it.

“You…you guys did this? All of this?” Vav asked, stepping away from the wall with wide eyes.

“Yeah. It’s pretty awesome, right?” Michael said with a grin, turning in his swivel chair to look at the two superheroes.

“You guys are criminals?” Vav insisted, looking at the crew.

“What else would we be?” Geoff asked, arching one eyebrow, and Vav opened and closed his mouth repeatedly, apparently at a loss for words.

“Does this say you crashed a helicopter into a boat?” X-Ray asked, pointing to one particular clipping.

“That…that was an accident,” Ryan said a little sheepishly.

“Some accident,” X-Ray laughed, studying other clippings with interest.

Geoff cleared his throat, looking at the newest people crowding the war room. “We can trade old heist stories later. Right now, I need to fill you all in. We’re pulling a heist tomorrow, and Jack and I decided there’s no way in hell you all are staying here alone. So you better know what the fuck is going on,” he said.

“Wait, you want us to join you? Committing a crime?” Vav said, staring at them open-mouthed.

“Oh, come on, Vav. It could be fun,” X-Ray said, nudging his partner with an elbow and grinning.

“But…but we’re superheroes, X-Ray! We help people! We don’t do…do this!” Vav insisted, throwing one arm out to encompass the entire room.

“Look, we’re not in our world right now. What does it matter? And when in Rome, right?” X-Ray said.

“This isn’t Rome, X-Ray,” Vav said dryly.

“How do you know? Have you been to Rome?” X-Ray asked, raising an eyebrow.

“No, but I’m pretty sure it doesn’t look like this,” Vav sighed.

Gavin started laughing and Ray grinned in amusement. Geoff started rubbing at his head again and Michael was trying to smother his own laughter. Mogar frowned at them and then looked at Geoff, arms crossed over his chest. “Mogar will help, if the imposters get Mogar home,” he declared.

“Yeah, sure,” Geoff sighed, leaning on the table. “Can everyone just shut up for right now and let me talk? We have a lot to get through, and I want to go lie down.”

Everyone settled down as his words. X-Ray took a seat near the lads and Vav threw himself down in another chair further away, scowling and looking away from everyone. As soon as everyone was quiet, Geoff dove into the plan, working out where the newcomers were going to join in and how things were going to change.

That night, the alternates stayed in the living room or the spare rooms the crew kept available for any of their friends or contacts that needed a safe place to stay. Jack was pretty sure Ryan didn’t sleep, because he had been on the patio, awake, when Jack went to sleep, and he was up when Jack woke up.

Getting everyone out the penthouse had been an interesting exercise. They needed more vehicles to transport everyone, and they tried to avoid the public wherever possible because X-Ray, Vav, the Mad King, and Mogar all stood out quite a bit. But they finally made it to the bank, ready to go, and Geoff called out to start the heist.

Despite the last-minute change of plans, things went pretty well. For a while. Gavin and X-Ray created a distraction that drew people away from the bank. Michael, Geoff, and the Mad King got into the bank to grab everything. Ryan and Mogar kept the area clear, and Jack created road blocks with vehicles and then started toward his chopper. Ray and Vav kept an eye out from a nearby roof, though Vav kept telling them how wrong they were, and how they needed to stop, and why in the world am I here, and X-Ray stop helping them!

It really didn’t take too long for the cops to show up. Gavin and X-Ray joined the rest of the crew in front of the bank, and the crew drew their guns. Mogar had his sword and the Mad King didn’t seem overly phased himself. The cops stopped outside of Jack’s barricades and started shooting without preamble. They had stopped trying to negotiate with the crew a long time ago, and Jack couldn’t remember the last time they’d pulled up and they hadn’t started shooting immediately.

Mogar and the Mad King ran at the cops, Mogar’s sword drawn, and the Mad King throwing his sharp crown like a Frisbee. It smacked into one of the cops and he fell, and the crown shot back to the Mad King’s outstretched hand. The crew ducked for cover, returning fire.

“No, stop!” Vav shouted over the earpieces they’d scrounged up for the alternates. And then the world slowed and became fuzzy, and Jack quickly lost track of what was happening.

When Jack’s mind cleared again, he blinked rapidly and rubbed his eyes, staring at his surroundings in confusion. He was inside of a holding cell at the police station, a cell that he’d been in a few times before now. But never before had the rest of the crew been there, too.

Geoff lowered his outstretched hand, frowning at the cell and spinning in place. Ryan’s had immediately went to his side, where he normally kept one of his guns inside his jacket, but Jack knew he was going to come up empty-handed. Gavin gaped at the holding cell open-mouthed and Ray scratched his head in confusion. Michael scowled and kicked at the bars, crossing his arms over his chest.

“What the fuck just happened?” he demanded angrily. Looking around outside the cell, Jack could tell that they had been left alone, and he could hear a rather boisterous conversation from down the hall, at the front of the precinct.

“Dammit, Vav,” X-Ray sighed, and Jack jumped. He hadn’t even realized that X-Ray was there. The green-clad superhero looked at each of them, his arms crossed.

“Vav? What does Vav have to do with this?” Jack asked. Speaking of, Vav was nowhere to be seen in the room. Nor were the Mad King or Mogar, and Jack seriously hoped they were back at the penthouse, and that they hadn’t decided to take a tour of the city. They didn’t need alternate versions of them running around unsupervised.

“This is why I didn’t want them here, Jack!” Geoff shouted, pacing angrily across the holding cell. “They went and fucked it up, and now we’re all here, with no one out there to do something about it!”

“I mean…I can get us out of here,” X-Ray said slowly, and everyone turned to look at him. X-Ray grinned at them and turned to one of the solid brick walls, lifting a hand to his glasses. “X-Ray is here to help!” he declared dramatically, and then red beams of light exploded from his glasses and blew out the wall.

“Holy shit!” Ryan cried, scrambling away from the opening in the wall and covering his head with his arms as bricks rained down on him. Gavin squawked and dove away as well, running into Ray and knocking them both to the ground. Michael stared open-mouthed and Geoff shouted and back-pedaled quickly until his back hit the bars. Jack could only stare at the opening in the wall in disbelief.

X-Ray’s grin faded as he looked at everyone’s surprised faces and he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “Oh…did Vav and I not tell you about our powers?” he said.

“Um…no. No, you didn’t,” Ray said slowly. “But that’s really fucking cool!”

“I know, right?” X-Ray said proudly.

“Okay, this is great and all, but we need to leave. Now. That wasn’t exactly quiet,” Geoff said, looking back toward the front of the precinct. Everyone agreed readily and rushed out of the station, heading back to the penthouse.

And Jack made a mental note that X-Ray and Vav definitely were never going to be left alone now.


	3. The Fake AH Zoo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for all the interest you all have shown in this story! And now it's time to move on and add another group to the penthouse, and wear down Geoff's sanity and patience.
> 
> Though I do want to mention something that may clear up confusion later. Because all of this is happening in the FAHC universe, it'll be from the crew's points of view. This means that any time one of the guys' names comes up, and it's not associated with a different AU, they're a part of the Fake AH Crew. I figured this'll be important as we keep adding more groups to this mess.

The entire way home, Geoff had ranted and raved to anyone who would listen, mostly yelling at X-Ray, who had eventually stopped trying to add his own comments and apologies when Geoff shouted over him. Most of Geoff’s raging had been along the lines of, “How the fuck do you have powers? Why the fuck didn’t you fucking tell us? How in the world did Vav get us arrested? What the hell else is going to happen? Why the fuck am I even having this conversation? This shouldn’t be fucking possible!” A lot of his comments were repeated, until Gavin was pretty sure he was just yelling to yell.

It took them a little while to get back to the penthouse. Their vehicles had been impounded, which would require a car rescue mission later, and the police station wasn’t exactly close to their building. Geoff had insisted that having a place far from the police station was a good idea so they wouldn’t get caught as quick. Right now, Gavin just thought it was annoying to have to walk halfway across the city. Especially with X-Ray in tow.

Not only was Geoff’s yelling and raging drawing attention to them, even in side streets, since he sounded drunk and insane with some of the things he was yelling, but X-Ray was getting strange looks as well. Even though a lot of weirdness happened in their city, and the crew was a big part of it, citizens didn’t often see people in brightly colored, spandex superhero suits.

“Is he always like this?” X-Ray muttered as they walked and Ray shrugged one shoulder.

“Not always. Sometimes he gets better when he’s drunk,” Ray answered. Michael snorted, watching Geoff in amusement, and X-Ray turned to look at him.

“At the very least, he can’t finish a sentence,” Michael said.

“Or remember our names,” Gavin sighed, shaking his head.

Ryan chuckled, the sound muffled and a little creepy behind his mask. Gavin was surprised the cops hadn’t taken it, but considering the last time they had Ryan had destroyed a precinct and killed five cops to get it back, it made sense. “You can’t tell me it’s not funny,” he laughed.

“Yeah, for you! He never remembers your name, and last time he got mad at you, I thought he was saying it was my bloody fault!” Gavin protested, and Ryan’s chuckle grew into a full-blown laugh.

“What was he mad at you for?” X-Ray asked curiously.

“Everything,” Ray said quickly, and his comment overlapped with Michael’s, “What isn’t Ryan in trouble for?”

“Hey,” Ryan protested. “He’s not always mad at me. And I’m pretty sure Gavin’s talking about the helicopter-boat collision, so Geoff coming up with his name makes perfect sense.”

“What? But I’ve never done that! I’ve crashed them each separately, but never like that,” Gavin pointed out. X-Ray laughed, shaking his head.

“I don’t see what Vav is so upset about. You guys are awesome,” he said cheerfully and Gavin smiled. At least one of the alternates seemed to like them, though Gavin was kind of disappointed that his alternate was such a mingy little prick. He never thought he could be that much of a goody-two-shoes in any world.

By the time they reached the penthouse, Geoff had calmed down significantly, and his shouts had turned into occasional mutters. He was rubbing at his head and Jack had a hand on his shoulder comfortingly. “Maybe you should go take some time for yourself. Go lay down or something. I can handle all this,” Jack suggested and Geoff nodded slowly, pushing open the still-broken front door.

Voices spilled out of the penthouse, and the main one Gavin heard sounded like Ryan. But not creepy, smooth-talking Mad King Ryan, more like normal Ryan. “Um…Jack, please, I don’t like this,” he said nervously, and Gavin tried to look inside, but his view was blocked by Geoff. The crew boss had stopped in his tracks, frozen, as he stared into the penthouse.

“Just move, Ryan,” someone sighed, and they sounded a lot like Jack.

“What do you think I’ve been doing?” new-Ryan demanded, and then another voice joined the mix. “Uh, guys?” the new, timid voice said, and it sounded just like Ray, except Ray and X-Ray were standing beside Gavin. Gavin was seriously considering just shoving Geoff through the doorway so they could see inside.

Finally, Geoff shook his head and stormed inside, his voice rising again. “No. Not again! I want all these fucking assholes out of my penthouse, Jack!” he declared, disappearing into the kitchen. “And god dammit, stop hiding my whisky from me! I’m way too fucking sober for this shit!”

The rest of the crew stepped inside, and Gavin could finally see what was going on in the living room, and the sight made him pause. Gavin had kind of expected to see more of them at this point, but not like this.

If he thought X-Ray, Vav, Mogar, and the Mad King looked strange, it was nothing compared to the new thems. All of the crew had another (or a first, in some cases) alternate standing in their living room, and each of the new ones appeared to be animal hybrids of sorts.

Hybrid-Ryan was pressed against the wall, looking a little confused and freaked out. Long, pointy horns grew from the sides of his head, curling up at the ends like the horns on bulls, and big, floppy cow ears stuck out from his hair. The Mad King was looking at him with interest, and he seemed to be the one hybrid-Ryan was trying to move away from.

Hybrid-Jack was looking around the living room, and a long tail flicked behind him, its end covered in a tuft of hair. The red hair and beard Gavin was so used to had grown out in a big, fluffy mane. Hybrid-Geoff stared after the crew boss, one eyebrow raised. He also had horns, but they were thick and curled around his animal ears like the horns of a ram.

Hybrid-Ray was attempting to curl up on himself and hide, his back to the corner and his shoulders hunched up to where a person’s ears normally would be. But his weren’t there; instead, long rabbit ears shot out of the top of his head, though they were currently pressed back against his head and down his back, and his eyes darted between everyone nervously.

Mogar stood near hybrid-Gavin, studying the large wings he had folded against his back with interest. He stroked the feathers and hybrid-Gavin was grinning proudly, absently playing with the random feathers in his hair. Beside him stood hybrid-Michael, his shoulders tense and narrowed eyes fixed on Mogar. Pointed cat ears sprang from his curls and a fluffy tabby tail flicked with irritation.

There was a second of silence, except for Geoff banging around in the kitchen searching for alcohol. Then hybrid-Geoff pointed to the kitchen and said mildly, “I think he has the right idea.”

“Where’s Vav?” Jack asked, looking around. Gavin hadn’t even realized his superhero counterpart wasn’t in the room. “And where did you all come from?”

“Vav is a little upset,” the Mad King said, glancing toward the room X-Ray and Vav had used the night before. His sympathetic tone was one Gavin had heard Ryan use in the past, right before he shot someone in the head. “And I believe our relentless inventor messed up more than I previously thought. It’s kind of amusing, really.”

“I don’t know if amusing is the right word. I’d go with really fucking weird,” hybrid-Michael scoffed.

“That’s more than one word, Michael,” hybrid-Gavin pointed out.

Michael barked out a laugh, grinned at Gavin and pointed at hybrid-Gavin. “God, you’re just as annoying in other worlds as you are here,” he laughed, and Gavin pouted, his expression mirrored by hybrid-Gavin.

“I’m just…gonna go check on Vav,” X-Ray said, hurrying away to find his friend.

“Mogar does not understand,” Mogar said, partially to himself as he continued to feel hybrid-Gavin’s wings. “The imposters are people, but also animals.”

“You’re a bear man raised by animals, Mogar,” the Mad King said gently. “That’s not exactly common, either.”

“But Mogar is not an animal,” Mogar said, frowning at the Mad King.

“Well, I mean…” hybrid-Ryan said slowly. He’d shuffled away from the Mad King and Gavin could see that he had a tail, too. Mogar glared at hybrid-Ryan and the cow hybrid backpedaled, his hands going up in a placating gesture. “Hey, I’m not saying it’s a bad thing. It’s just…a thing.”

Ray chuckled and nudged Ryan with an elbow. “Animal you is kind of a wuss,” he said in amusement.

Ryan pulled off his mask so they could see his frown. “Yeah, well, animal me isn’t hiding in a corner,” he huffed.

“You all do know we’re standing in front of you, right?” hybrid-Geoff said dryly, and Ryan waved his hand dismissively.

“Maybe we should discuss what’s actually going on here,” hybrid-Jack suggested, and Gavin noticed his teeth were sharp when he opened his mouth. “We haven’t exactly gotten a straight answer so far.” He gestured at Mogar and the Mad King, the latter of which frowned and crossed his arms over his chest.

“I think I explained it quite well,” he sniffed. Hybrid-Ryan scoffed.

“You said something about other worlds then asked a million questions about me being part bull. That’s not exactly enlightening,” he pointed out.

Jack started to speak, but a giant crash in the kitchen interrupted him, loud and violent enough that the floor shook beneath Gavin’s feet. The crew jumped, grabbing for weapons that weren’t there. Hybrid-Gavin squawked and his wings opened, throwing Mogar against the wall with relative ease. Hybrid-Ray dropped into a small ball, arms over his head, and both hybrid-Jack and hybrid-Michael’s tails puffed up. Hybrid-Ryan looked around so fast that one of his horns punched a hole in the wall, and X-Ray and Vav rushed out into the living room.

“Jack, the fridge is broken!” Geoff hollered from the kitchen and Jack sighed heavily.

“Ryan, you’re in charge. Deal with this,” Jack ordered.

“Me?” Ryan repeated in surprise, pointing to himself. “You leaving me in charge? Of this?”

“Do you want to deal with angry, destructive Geoff instead?” Jack asked, and Ryan shook his head after a second’s hesitation. “Didn’t think so. Just…you and the lads stay here and explain. Don’t kill anyone, don’t let anyone kill anyone, and don’t break shit.” With that, Jack went into the kitchen to figure out what was going on with Geoff, leaving everyone else standing in the living room awkwardly.

Gavin looked around and ran a hand through his hair. Their life was certainly getting interesting.


	4. Babysitting Bullshit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I keep saying this, but thanks so much for all your kudos and comments! All the feedback and love this story has gotten has really made these past few days so much better, so thanks! (Also, updates are coming so fast just because I literally do nothing else but write all day. I have no real life.)
> 
> More AUs will be joining in soon, and I have a very basic idea of which ones to throw in next, but let me know if you all want to see any in particular show up! There's no guarantee they'll pop up quickly, considering the absurd number of AUs that are in the clusterfuck, but I will try my best. But besides that, enjoy.

Ryan had no idea how he’d been roped into babysitting duty, but he’d somehow been left watching the other versions of him and the various lads while everyone else went off to do their own things. Jack had decided to take Geoff out of the penthouse, and they went to go create some chaos so Geoff could get rid of some of his anger. Ryan was kind of annoyed that he couldn’t go with them, because chaos was kind of his thing, but they’d insisted he had to stay behind to keep an eye on the place.

Hybrid-Geoff had wandered off to explore the penthouse with hybrid-Jack, but Ryan didn’t really care too much about what they were doing. Any Jack had to be able to have some control over a situation, and he doubted either of them would start destroying the place. Besides, Ryan was more than happy to let them deal with the overcrowding situation, since he’d heard hybrid-Jack talking about finding room for everyone.

Ryan had more than enough to deal with at the moment without all that.

It had taken him all of a minute to realize that sitting down and relaxing simply wasn’t an option. Ray and hybrid-Ray had camped out in front of the television, with a blanket wrapped around hybrid-Ray’s shoulders, and the rabbit hybrid seemed to be perking up. His ears were coming up again as he played a game with Ray. They were the easy ones to deal with. It was like entertaining children – turn on the television and they’re happy. It was the others that were causing problems.

Shortly after the Jacks and Geoffs had left Ryan all alone with this mess, shit had started going wrong. It started with the Mad King heckling hybrid-Ryan, and Ryan hoped it didn’t mean anything that it was his alternates who were causing problems first.

Hybrid-Ryan was curled up at the edge of the couch, and he seemed to be trying very hard to ignore the Mad King’s endless questions and prodding by watching the Rays playing their game, but it wasn’t really working.

“So how much of your animal half comes through?” the Mad King asked, stroking the stubble on his chin thoughtfully and eying hybrid-Ryan as if he were analyzing him.

“Well, I have horns and a tail so…” hybrid-Ryan said slowly without looking away from the television. “Isn’t there someone else you could be bothering? I’m not the only hybrid here, you know.”

Ryan groaned and pushed himself up from his comfortable spot in his armchair, stepping between the two other Ryans. The Mad King raised an eyebrow at him and smiled. “I see your friends have left you to clean up their mess here,” he said mildly.

“Sucks for you,” Ryan said with a thin smile that the crew had often said looked really fucking creepy with his face paint. The Mad King seemed relatively unfazed, however. “Leave him alone and go find some other weird thing to do.” The Mad King met Ryan’s stare emotionlessly and Ryan made sure to give him his best, I’m-going-to-fucking-cut-your-heart-out glare.

Finally, the Mad King smiled and dipped his head, taking a step back from Ryan. “Very well. You’ve made your point,” he said, before he turned and strode away, casting Ryan a quick glance over his shoulder.

Ryan sighed and turned to go back to his chair, but then Vav exclaimed loudly, “We can’t just be doing this stuff, X-Ray!” He looked over at the two superheroes, who stood further back in the living room, having a rather heated conversation. Vav was frowning, his arms crossed over his chest, and X-Ray looked pleading.

“Come on, Vav. It’s not that big a deal. It was one little heist. For fun. Nothing even happened,” X-Ray pointed out, his voice needling and a little pitiful. “The cops got all their stuff back and no one got hurt. At least from these guys.”

“Yeah, but that’s only cause I used my slow mo powers! The cops would’ve died otherwise,” Vav protested and Ryan shook his head, stepping up to them.

“What’s wrong with you two?” he griped, and the two of them turned to look at him in surprise.

“Vav doesn’t like that I helped you guys,” X-Ray answered.

“They’re criminals, X-Ray! We don’t help criminals, we fight them!” Vav insisted.

“But we’re not at home right now, Vav. And I don’t really want to fight them,” X-Ray said, looking at Ryan a little nervously, and Ryan snorted.

“If it makes you feel better, Vav, I really don’t think Geoff is going to ask any of you to come with us again,” Ryan said. He was pretty sure that Geoff would burst a blood vessel if he had to deal with all of them again during a heist, and he knew they’d find some way to keep this particular group of alternates away from their jobs.

Vav looked down at the ground and scuffed his foot on the floor. “I guess that’s okay,” he sighed and Ryan nodded.

“Cool. Then I’ll leave you two to your thing, just…don’t kill each other, alright?” Ryan said, turning away from them and taking stock of the people in the room.

Ray and hybrid-Ray continued their game, hybrid-Ryan looked much more relaxed on the couch now, Michael sat on the floor cleaning one of his spare guns, and hybrid-Michael stretched out in a spot of sunlight, fast asleep. Hybrid-Geoff and hybrid-Jack had likely stopped somewhere in the penthouse at this point, but that still meant some of them were missing.

Looking around, Ryan saw no sign of the Mad King, Mogar, or either of the other Gavins. Ryan swore and did a quick look in the nearby rooms to make sure they weren’t hiding somewhere, but he still didn’t see them. “Does anyone know where Gavin, Mogar, and…other Gavin went?” he demanded. “Or the Mad King?”

“I think Gavin said something about the roof. Or, um, my Gavin?” hybrid-Ryan said, frowning as he tried to work out names. Ryan definitely understood his pain.

“Fuck. Okay, you all just…keep doing what you’re doing. I’m getting these assholes off the roof. And if anyone knows where the Mad King went, tell me!” Ryan said. Michael raised his hand in acknowledgement without looking up from his gun, and Ryan hurried through the penthouse to the large window that lead to the fire escape. The window was open, a faint breeze moving the curtains, and Ryan slipped out of it with ease. They had made sure nothing went in front of that window, just in case they had to get out fast.

Ryan thudded up the steps, the metal creaking and clanking with each step of his heavy boots, and he only paused for half a second at the top. Mogar stood a few feet from the edge, staring up at the sky much more peacefully than Ryan had seen him look so far. Near him was Gavin, standing right at the edge of the roof and looking up as well.

“Gavin, get down, you fucking idiot!” Ryan shouted, running toward him, and Gavin looked down in surprise, his balance wavering at the movement. Ryan snatched his arm and pulled him bodily away from the edge of the roof, glaring at him. “You’re going to fucking fall to your death, and Geoff is going to fucking gut me.”

“I wasn’t going to fall, Ryan,” Gavin protested, brushing Ryan’s hand off his arm. “I was being careful.”

“That didn’t look like being careful to me,” Ryan huffed. A sudden gust of wind sent dirt and pebbles flying toward them, and Ryan shielded his eyes with his hand.

Hybrid-Gavin landed on the rooftop, pulling his wings in close, Mogar tracking his movements. “I would have caught him if he’d fallen,” hybrid-Gavin said, and Ryan scoffed, shaking his head.

“I’m sorry, but if you’re anything like the Gavin I know, I really don’t put much faith in that,” Ryan said, looking around at them. “What are you all doing up here anyway?”

“The one with wings promised to fly. Mogar wanted to watch,” Mogar explained gruffly.

Ryan nodded slowly, running a hand through his hair. “Okay, but can you at least wait until night or something to go flying through town? People around here don’t have wings, and we do not need attention drawn to our building because some asshole who wants to show off got spotted,” he said, scowling at hybrid-Gavin.

“Why are you so upset, Ryan?” Gavin asked, frowning slightly and tilting his head. Ryan let out a heavy breath, his hands falling to his sides.

“I’m upset because I don’t know what the fuck is going on, and I’ve been left dealing with it. I have a weirdo clone who’s bothering my other weird clone, there are two superheroes downstairs that I think are going to punch each other soon, you all are on a roof and straying way too close to the edge and I’d really rather no one die on my watch, and now one of the me’s down there has gone missing and I really don’t think he’s sane enough to be left alone,” Ryan said quickly. “I just want to go with Geoff and Jack and blow some shit up and kill some people, because that I understand, but instead I’m a glorified babysitter.”

Hybrid-Gavin glanced at Gavin a little nervously, pulling at one of the feathers in his hair. Gavin smiled and hit Ryan in the arm. “Come on, Ryebread, lighten up! This is really cool! You’re too grumpy,” he said cheerfully and Ryan scowled, crossing his arms over his chest.

“I think I have every right to be grumpy,” he huffed. “Can you three just get your asses down to the penthouse and stop running around where I have to chase you down?”

“We were fine,” hybrid-Gavin protested, his eyes widening and a small squawk escaping his throat when Ryan turned his scowl to him. “It’s crowded and boring down there.”

“I don’t care if it’s boring,” Ryan snapped. “It’s going to get way too damn exciting if you keep flying around in the middle of the day, and we don’t have anywhere else to go that could hold…fuck, what, sixteen people?”

Mogar scowled and stepped up between the two Gavins, hands clenched into fists as his sides. “Mogar does not work with the imposters. Mogar will do what Mogar wants,” he declared and Ryan growled to himself, throwing his hands up in the air and then jabbing a finger at Mogar in annoyance.

“Mogar is going to fucking listen to me, or I’m throwing your grammatically incorrect ass off of this roof right now. I don’t really care if you die; I think Geoff would find it a relief,” Ryan threatened darkly. “Find something to do downstairs. Fucking talk to someone and learn how to use the word ‘I’, take a nap, draw a fucking picture, I don’t care. Just go where I know I can find you and shut up.” He understood exactly why Geoff had snapped; this was extremely frustrating, and Ryan was glad that he had never really had to be in charge before.

Geoff and Jack could be annoying and he sometimes didn’t like what they had to say, but he had to give them credit. They kept things running far more smoothly than he ever could.

Mogar growled and met Ryan’s glare and then spun on his heel, hunching his shoulders and crossing his arms. “If the imposters can get Mogar home, Mogar will listen. For now,” he said, heading down the fire escape stairs without another word. Ryan let out a breath and nodded, pleased he’d at least gotten one of them down from the roof.

“So…we can come up here tonight?” hybrid-Gavin asked slowly, a smile spreading across his face.

“Jack and Geoff may have their own opinions, but I don’t really care. Just don’t go flying right now,” Ryan said and hybrid-Gavin grinned.

“Okay! C’mon, Gav, let’s see if the Rays will let us play with them,” he said, and him and Gavin went back down the fire escape, Ryan close behind. He found it amazing how well the lads had adjusted to having multiples of them running around. He was still struggling to deal with the fact that he was one of three Ryans in the penthouse, but they had all made friends with one another in a matter of minutes. It was actually kind of impressive.

Or maybe it just said something about how much Ryan liked himself.

“Has the Mad King come back yet?” Ryan asked as he wandered into the living room, but the answer was pretty apparent. It was difficult to miss a dude in a kilt and a broken crown. X-Ray and Vav had moved to sprawl across the couch near hybrid-Ryan, and Mogar had settled carefully in the armchair, his sword leaning against the back of the chair. Gavin and hybrid-Gavin went to join the Rays in front of the television, grabbing up extra controllers.

“Nope. I think he left,” Michael said with a quick glance up a vague gesture toward the door.

Ryan huffed and nodded. “Okay. Animal Geoff and Jack are somewhere around here if any of you guys need anything. Just go find them, I need to go hunt down the Mad King,” he said, and Ryan felt like he was talking to a group of children. But really, that’s how they’d been acting, and it was mostly all the lads anyway, so he felt like it fit.

It took Ryan almost a full hour to hunt down the Mad King, and the longer his search had gone, the more annoyed he’d gotten. He had no idea how anyone that looked anything like the Mad King was able to disappear so thoroughly, and he’d figured walking down the halls and shouting “Mad King” wasn’t the best idea. The building housed other people, and though they were used to the crew’s shenanigans, the crew tended to keep it low-key when they could.

If the people there moved out, Geoff would be out a little bit of his income, since he owned the entire building. Though Ryan was thinking that maybe, if this group grew any larger, it would probably be good for someone to move out. Then they’d have places to put everyone.

Finally, Ryan made his way into the garage. The crew had a private floor in the building’s parking garage that was normally kept locked up tight. They didn’t need some curious kid stumbling onto a tank or a truck with a gun mounted in the bed. But when Ryan reached the door, it was swinging open, and Ryan scowled, pushing it open slowly.

Crashing and banging came from the garage and Ryan seriously hoped that the Mad King wasn’t doing something that he really shouldn’t have been. He stepped into the garage and closed the door behind him, locking it for safety purposes. When he turned around, he kind of wished he’d kept a closer eye on his crazy alternate.

The Mad King stood among mechanical parts that had come off of a sleek, chrome sports car, and he held a screwdriver in one hand. It looked like he was putting the parts together into something, but Ryan didn’t care what he was making.

Ryan just knew that one of them was going to be fucking shot when they got back upstairs.

“Please tell me you didn’t just take apart Michael’s car,” he said, moving slowly toward the Mad King, a scowl slowly spreading across his face. “You’re dead if he sees this. We both are.”

The Mad King looked up and smiled far too innocently, twisting the screwdriver around in his hands. “Is that whose this is?” he asked mildly, looking down at the broken car. “That’s unfortunate. I do hope there wasn’t any lasting damage.”

“What…what are you… You made the damage!” Ryan shouted, his scowl turning to a glare. “Don’t play innocent around me, asshole. You are me. I know when I’m being a shit. And that is one of the strangest things I think I’ve ever said. Ever.”

“Well, you were quite insistent that I should find other ways to entertain myself. You were hardly specific,” the Mad King said with a smile, holding his hands out.

Ryan growled and stepped over the various metal pieces, grabbing the front of the Mad King’s shirt and moving him closer by the bowtie. “Leave my crew and their things alone. Quit playing at being the righteous, innocent hero you’re trying to make yourself out to be, because you really kind of suck at it, and I’m getting really tired of your shit,” he growled.

“Why do you stand up for them?” the Mad King asked with sympathy that almost sounded genuine. If Ryan didn’t know himself. “They don’t actually care about you, Ryan. You’re just a pawn in their little game, one they can discard easily enough as soon as they’re done with you. Why else would they leave you here, while they went out to do your job?”

“Nice try. But you’re not getting in my head,” Ryan said and the Mad King grinned, looking almost impressed. “You need to get your ass back upstairs, keep your manipulative thoughts to yourself, and leave our shit alone.” Ryan let go of the Mad King’s shirt, shoving him back a little bit.

“Very well. We’ll see what can be done,” the Mad King said, setting his screwdriver aside and picking his way through the scraps of metal. He looked at Ryan with a speculative interest that made the hairs on the back of Ryan’s neck stand up uncomfortably before he made his way into the building.

Ryan sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He really hoped that he wasn’t actually as bad as the Mad King, because if he was, he felt like he owed Jack and Geoff an apology. This was bullshit.


	5. This is Halloween

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time for a new AU! And I'm gonna have to figure out ways to cut back on the number of characters in a certain room, because now there are twenty-two people in this penthouse, and it's getting a little crowded. But I hope you enjoy!

In the few hours that Jack and Geoff were gone, Ray was pretty sure someone was going to get hurt. It was pretty calm and quiet once Ryan left to find the Mad King, and Ray was happy to team up with animal-him and kick Team Gavin’s ass at videogames.

Michael and hybrid-Ryan commented on what was happening every now and then, or poked fun at someone (generally one of the Gavins) who failed epically. X-Ray and Vav had picked sides and were rooting for their respective alternates. Mogar stayed near hybrid-Gavin, watching the game silently with a frown. He didn’t seem to quite understand Halo.

The front door opened after a while and Ray glanced up from his game briefly. The mad King strolled inside with an annoyed, murderous-looking Ryan directly behind him. Ryan closed the door, paused, and let out a heavy breath.

“You probably don’t want to go down to the garage, Michael,” he said, his delicate wording completely at odds with his angry demeanor.

“Why?” Michael asked slowly, suspiciously. “What did you do?”

“ _I_ didn’t do anything,” Ryan insisted, and Ray was pretty sure this would be the point when the Mad King got shot. “And I’ll fix it. Preferably _with_ help.” That comment was directed toward the Mad King, who had stopped behind Ray and hybrid-Ray to watch their game.

“Fix what? What happened to my car?” Michael demanded, grabbing his gun from the floor and hopping up to his feet. Ray decided that he would much prefer to sit quietly and shoot Gavin out from a warthog, instead of getting involved. Bad things happened when Michael’s car was in any kind of danger, and Ray had quickly learned to stay out of any situation like that.

“Now there’s an interesting question,” the Mad King mused, and Ray winced. His hybrid alternate took one glance at what was going on around them and then flipped his hood up over his head, wrapping his blanket tighter around himself and staring resolutely at the screen. Ray didn’t exactly blame him.

“What the fuck did you do?” Michael shouted. Gavin was also refusing to get involved by being very interested in what was going on in the game, and hybrid-Gavin spread his wings a little bit between him and Michael like a shield. A quick glance around showed Ray that hybrid-Michael had woken up and was looking at the group a little blearily, and hybrid-Ryan had sunk down in the couch cushions, trying not to be too obvious in the middle of his alternates. He was a little difficult to miss with his long horns but that didn’t keep him from trying.

“Hey, whoa, calm down,” hybrid-Jack said quickly as he hurried into the living room, hybrid-Geoff close behind him. “What’s with the guns?”

“Michael loves his car,” Ray answered, turning back around in order to see hybrid-Ray die protecting him from Gavin’s energy sword. “Bunny me, no! Get back here, Gav!” Gavin squawked and ran, repeatedly spouting apologies that were undercut by laughter.

“That’s not really much of an explanation,” hybrid-Geoff muttered.

“Those assholes destroyed my car, I know it,” Michael growled.

“Hey, I didn’t do anything. That was all him,” Ryan protested loudly, and the Mad King let out an amused breath. Hybrid-Jack sighed.

“Look, you don’t have to shoot them because of it,” he said, and there was a brief silence before he continued. “Stop looking at me like that. I really don’t think you want to kill anyone in your own place. Just…you Ryan, go back down with the Mad King here and fix it.”

“What, just me? Alone? With him?” Ryan asked incredulously. “I really don’t think that’s the best idea.”

“Well your Michael sure as hell isn’t going with you, and I don’t want to babysit,” hybrid-Geoff said gruffly.

“But…there are lots of other people! Why me?” Ryan complained.

“What, are you tired of me already?” the Mad King interjected, and he almost sounded a little hurt.

“Yes,” Ryan answered immediately. “Yes, I am. I am very tired of being around you.”

“Well you’re the best person to stick with him. Go. When your Jack and Geoff come back, one of us will join you. Until then, the two of you are on your own,” hybrid-Jack said firmly. Ryan growled, managing to make an animalistic sound without being one of the people in the room with animal parts, and then stomped over to the door. The Mad King followed silently and Ray could just imagine the smirk on his face as he walked away.

Hybrid-Geoff let out a heavy breath and collapsed into the armchair as Michael very slowly sat back down on the ground, scowling after the two Ryans. “Maybe I should go with them. Make sure they don’t fuck anything else up,” he said.

“No,” hybrid-Geoff said immediately. “Maybe when your crew’s me and Jack come back, but I’m not explaining dead bodies.”

It wasn’t too much later when the door opened again. Gavin looked up to greet whoever entered and then shouted, flailing. He threw his controller and it smacked Ray in the arm, as he fell back against hybrid-Gavin, whose wings spread in shock and Ray was hit again. “Stop throwing things at me!” he cried, shoving hybrid-Gavin’s wing away and tossing Gavin his controller back.

Neither Gavin answered, both of them staring at the doorway with wide eyes, and hybrid-Ray curled up against Ray’s side with a gasp. Ray frowned, confused, and looked around to the door, freezing up in surprise as well.

Jack had stepped into the penthouse, and behind him was another group of alternates. Strangely enough, Ray was getting used to seeing more versions of them running around and popping out of the woodwork, and the only real surprise and concern here was what these ones looked like.

He didn’t exactly blame Gavin for jumping and shouting, even though he was definitely going to make fun of his friend for it later. But at the moment, that wasn’t exactly what was on his mind. The group behind Jack could only be described as monsters, and it looked like a collection of bad horror movies had dumped alternate versions of the crew in their living room.

Spooky-Geoff stared at them with an arched eyebrow, a pair of dark horns curling up from his head. His ears stuck out and came to points and he had a long, spiked tail. Both the tip of his tail and the space between the points of his horns were lit up with blue flames, and his eyes were red and black. Beside him was spooky-Jack, who essentially looked like a walking mess of seaweed and vines. His eyes were lit up cheerfully and he was smiling. A couple flowers sat in his greenery, bright spots of color amongst the foliage.

Spooky-Gavin had patches of different colored skin and thick, visible stitches, like Frankenstein’s monster. His eyes were different colors and it seemed like there wasn’t really much of him that still looked like the Gavin that Ray knew. Spooky-Michael just looked like he should be dead. His skin was pale and his eyes were sunken and colored by dark circles.

Out of all of them, spooky-Ryan and (presumably) spooky-Ray looked the most normal. In fact, spooky-Ray was exactly like looking in a mirror; there was no real difference between him and Ray. Spooky-Ryan wore a long white lab coat stained with Ray-probably-didn’t-want-to-know-what, and he was wearing glasses, which Ray thought was maybe odder to see on Ryan than a kilt. He had a clipboard tucked under one arm and a pencil shoved behind one ear, and his eyes practically lit up as he looked at everyone in the room.

“Um…what the fuck?” hybrid-Michael said eloquently, and Ray had to agree. That’s not quite what he had been expecting.

Jack ushered everyone inside and closed the door. “So…our group seems to be growing…” he said slowly.

“Hello,” spooky-Jack said cheerfully, waving at the group, leafy tendrils swaying from his arm at the movement.

“Hi…?” X-Ray answered slowly, lifting his hand in a quick wave. Hybrid-Ray hadn’t moved away from Ray’s side and had actually pressed himself closer, his hood down so low that he was almost completely hidden in his jacket. “What B movie did you all come out of?”

Spooky-Geoff snorted, crossing his arms over his chest and rolling his eyes. “What comic book did you two fall from?” he retorted.

“Really, guys?” hybrid-Jack sighed, shaking his head and then smiling at the creepy Halloween versions of everyone. “Welcome to our oh-so-happy gathering. Did that Jack explain everything to you guys?”

Spooky-Michael shrugged, and his motions were a little stiff, less smooth and fluid than what Ray was used to seeing. “Yeah. Doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, though,” he said, shaking his head.

“Then you’re pretty well up to speed,” hybrid-Ryan said with a small smile.

“If you did understand it, I’d need an explanation,” hybrid-Geoff added.

Jack took a quick look around and frowned. “Where’s Ryan? And the Mad King?” he asked warily, and Michael grumbled to himself.

“They’re down in the garage,” X-Ray offered.

“What are they doing down there?” Jack asked.

“They’re fixing Michael’s car,” Ray answered and Jack shook his head.

“I don’t think I want to know anymore. Okay, here’s what we’re doing,” Jack said decisively. “Geoff is waiting downstairs to go get our cars and weapons from the cops. Michael, why don’t you come with us? Ray, you and your rabbit friend there head out to the store. I have a list of things we’re gonna need, and I’ll let you two grab that. Get him out of here for a bit. Gavin, show newest Ryan where the garage is. I don’t really trust him to be staying up here.”

“Hey!” spooky-Ryan protested, frowning. “I’m very trustworthy, thank you very much.” Spooky-Geoff snorted and spooky-Ray started laughing, neither of them apparently convinced.

“Yeah… I know my Ryan, and I’ve seen the Mad King. Right now, the bull version of you guys is the only one who seems okay. You should go help the other two with Michael’s car,” Jack said. “Spooky guys, feel free to make yourself at home. We’ll figure out where everyone is going later. Just no one hurt anyone or destroy anything. I already have to deal with Geoff breaking all of my appliances.”

Ray laughed and nodded, turning the game off, and Gavin let out a disappointed groan. Ray moved his hybrid counterpart off of him and got up. “Is Geoff upset?” Gavin asked as he stood up as well.

“Well, when we saw him, he yelled, ‘God fucking dammit, fuck no, Jack you deal with this fucking bullshit, I’m waiting in the fucking car.’ So…maybe a little,” spooky-Geoff laughed.

“I mean, can you blame him? This is really fucking weird,” hybrid-Michael said, running his hand along his tail and smoothing the fur.

“And he’s going to get more agitated if he has to wait. Ready, Michael?” Jack said. Michael got up and tucked his gun into his pocket, heading out the door with Jack. “If anyone needs anything, call me. Not Geoff. The rest of the crew can give everyone else my number. Oh, and here’s this, Ray.” Jack pulled a paper out of his pocket and handed it over to Ray. A rather impressively sized shopping list had been scrawled on the paper and Ray lifted an eyebrow.

“This is a lot of stuff,” he said, looking back up at Jack and stowing the paper in his hoodie pocket.

“We have a lot of people,” Jack pointed out as he left. “Be back later!” He pulled the door closed behind him and everyone stared after him for a moment.

Ray shrugged, tugging at the jacket of his rabbit alternate to get his attention. “Come on, I think I have a beanie in my room somewhere. So you can cover up your ears,” he said and hybrid-Ray nodded in agreement. Gavin and spooky-Ryan left the penthouse as well, with spooky-Ryan asking many questions as they left about what was happening, how the other alternates worked, how this world operated.

Spooky-Ray followed after the other two alternate versions of him and asked, “Do you mind if I come with you? It’s kind of crowded in here.”

Ray looked at him over his shoulder and shrugged again. “Yeah, sure. We’ll be a set of awesome triplets,” he said with a grin, stepping into his room. He dug around in a pile of dirty clothes and pulled out a well-worn beanie, tossing it to his hybrid alternate.

Hybrid-Ray put it on and tucked his ears into it. The beanie didn’t fully cover the ends of his long ears, and he pulled his hood up as well, effectively hiding his odd trait. “How that’s look?” he asked with a grin.

“Awesome,” spooky-Ray said with a thumbs up. “Does the beanie itch? I hate it when things touch my ears.”

“A little bit,” hybrid-Ray admitted, nodding and tugging at the edge of the beanie.

“So how do you fit into the group of horror movie guys?” Ray asked, grabbing a spare gun from his nightstand and putting it in his hoodie pocket. He’d been in too many bad situations to leave his gun behind.           

Spooky-Ray grinned. “I’m a werewolf,” he said proudly. “You just can’t tell unless it’s the full moon.”

“A…a werewolf?” hybrid-Ray asked warily, but Ray thought it was pretty cool. He never thought he'd be a werewolf in any world.

“Man, that’s awesome!” Ray said, leading the way back out of his room.

The three of them wandered back into the living room and hybrid-Gavin looked away from his conversation with spooky-Gavin, caught sight of them, and paused. “That’s really weird,” he said. “You all look just the same!”

Hybrid-Geoff glanced over as well and frowned. “I feel like you guys shouldn’t be allowed to do that,” he said. “I don’t know which one of you assholes is mine.”

Ray glanced at his alternates and grinned, his expression mirrored by both of them. “Guess you’ll never know,” he called in a sing-song voice, grabbing a set of keys from a hook by the door. “See you all later! We’re out on a Ray-exclusive shopping trip.” With that, him and his identical alternates left the penthouse and the crowded living room, letting everyone else deal with things on their own.


	6. The Supermarket RAYD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for all of your comments and kudos and everything! I'm so glad you all continue to like this story! I'm definitely having a lot of fun writing it. But here's more random hijinx, with a new AU set up to be joining the mix soon.

Ray led his alternates downstairs to the garage in order to grab one of the cars to use for their shopping trip. They’d need a large vehicle in order to carry all the stuff that Jack wanted them to grab, and Ray knew they had quite a few to choose from.

As they approached, Ray could hear the Ryans’ voices through the door. “Okay, and then this piece goes there…” one of them said.

“Oh, that’s good,” said another and Ray was pretty sure it was the Mad King. The crew’s Ryan sure as hell didn’t talk that smoothly unless he was toying with someone.

“What the hell? I’m pretty sure that’s not how you fix an engine! Take it apart!” snapped a voice that very clearly belonged to the Vagabond Ryan, and Ray hesitated for a second with his hand on the doorknob, wondering if it was safe to enter.

“Um…knock, knock?” Ray called as he pushed the door open, the other two versions of him close behind.

The three of them walked into what looked like a scrap yard in the garage, and Ray thought it was a very good thing that Michael hadn’t come down. His beloved chrome car had been thoroughly dismantled and broken apart, and the pieces littered the ground. Ryan was kneeling next to the car, grease marks marring his face paint, and he was scowling at his two alternates. The Mad King and spooky-Ryan sat on the ground amongst all of the parts, piecing things together, an open toolbox resting nearby. Ray had no idea what they were actually making, because Ryan was right and it definitely didn’t look like a conventional engine, but he didn’t really feel like prying.

Whatever it was, Ray didn’t think that he wanted any part in it.

“Save me,” Ryan pleaded, looking away from his alternates and grimacing at Ray. “I’ll go on the longest murder break ever. I won’t threaten to kill you guys for a while. I’ll even watch Gavin on our next heist! Just help…”

Ray laughed at his pitiful whining; it wasn’t a side of Ryan he saw often and it was great. “Sorry, Ryebread, but we gotta go buy enough stuff for an army,” he said, watching the Mad King and spooky-Ryan huddling together and muttering while they gestured at their odd metallic creation. “We have a van in here somewhere, don’t we?”

Ryan sighed and slumped down, covering his eyes with one hand and pointing to the garage in general with the other. “I hate you,” he griped. “It’s behind the bus.”

“Thanks, Ryan!” Ray said, starting into the garage.

“Also, why do your alternate selves look normal?” Ryan added grumpily.

“Are you saying that you look normal?” spooky-Ray asked incredulously, staring at Ryan’s face paint, and Ryan dropped his hand to scowl.

Spooky-Ryan laughed, looking over at Ryan with a grin. “I actually think ‘most normal’ applies to me,” he said, sitting up proudly and brushing non-existent dirt from his lab coat.

“I don’t think any of you are normal,” spooky-Ray said, and his Ryan frowned at him. “I know you aren’t normal. Just remember Geoff’s gonna light you up if you do another dangerous experiment.”

“Just blaze,” Ray said automatically and Ryan rolled his eyes as hybrid-Ray chuckled.

“Look, what Geoff doesn’t know won’t hurt him,” spooky-Ryan insisted calmly.

“Well…” the Mad King said slowly with a shrug.

“Dammit, would you two just stop plotting and fix Michael’s car? Otherwise we’re all dead before you can even finish whatever you’re doing,” Ryan snapped, banging a screwdriver down on a sheet of metal so that it rang.

“Maybe we should go…” hybrid-Ray suggested and Ray nodded.

“Probably a good idea. See you all later! I hope you don’t die,” he called, waving as he went to go find the van. It really wasn’t too hard to find; like Ryan had said, it was parked behind the bullet-ridden blue police bus they had stolen a while back for one of their heists. Ray climbed into the car, while the Ryans argued with one another in the background.

There was a supermarket not too far from the penthouse, and Ray decided it was probably the best place to get everything Jack wanted. Ray and his alternates each grabbed a shopping cart and went inside, Ray opening up the large list he pulled out of his pocket. The three of them received strange and confused looks from people they passed, but Ray just grinned, waving at them.

“What are we grabbing first?” spooky-Ray asked, bringing his cart alongside Ray’s and craning his neck to look at the list.

“Um…a lot of alcohol,” Ray answered with a quick look down.

“Cool! Let’s go!” spooky-Ray cried, putting one foot on the bar at the bottom of the cart and pushing off with the other so that he shot down the main aisle on the cart. Hybrid-Ray ran after him and hopped on his own cart as soon as he built up speed, and Ray joined in the race after only a second of confused hesitation.

“Hey, slow down!” one of the employees shouted after them, but none of them did, too interested in winning the race across the store.

Hybrid-Ray skidded to a halt in front of the alcohol aisle first, and Ray thought he must have had some kind of advantage being part-rabbit. Ray was last, and he blamed his general avoidance of anything athletic for the loss. He almost crashed into spooky-Ray when he stopped and he veered off into the aisle to avoid a collision. The employees were glaring and he hopped off the cart, waving at them as he went down the aisle much more calmly.

“Okay, so we need lots of alcohol, a ton of food, and then he has things like nametags, markers, a white board… A lot of random stuff listed,” Ray said, staring down at his list. “Should we split up for all of this?”

“Sure! Last one to meet up in the electronics department is a rotten egg!” spooky-Ray cried, charging down the aisle again.

“What…? Hey, wait up!” hybrid-Ray shouted, running after him. Ray was glad that this store had fallen into the crew’s territory, and that Geoff actively had a hand in it, so they wouldn’t actually be kicked out. Anywhere else, and Ray knew they would’ve had managers coming to yell at them by now. Especially as their shopping trip progressed.

“What other drinks should we get?” spooky-Ray hollered from a couple aisles over, as Ray was tossing a case of beer next to the many whisky bottles in his cart.

“Make sure you have Diet Coke and Red Bull,” Ray yelled back, knowing that at least a couple members of his crew would be very upset if they were forgotten. “Anything else is fine!”

“Do you think smaller whiteboards are okay? They don’t have really big ones,” hybrid-Ray called from the other direction.

“I think Jack will be fine with it. Just get more than one,” Ray answered.

There was a loud crash and the sound of breaking glass, followed by spooky-Ray shouting, “Um…I didn’t do it!”

“Alcohol is gathered! I got snacks now,” Ray cried a few minutes later, when his cart was pretty well full of clanking bottles and heavy boxes. Even with as much as he’d grabbed, he knew with three Geoffs in the apartment, it would be gone quickly. And it would be gone through even quicker if any more popped up.

“No, this is my aisle, find your own!” spooky-Ray barked and Ray glanced down the snack aisle to see his werewolf counterpart loading up his cart with cookies and chips. Ray moved on to the next aisle and let spooky-Ray deal with ‘his aisle’.

A couple minutes later, when Ray was adding boxes of cereal to his pile of food, he heard someone call his name from down the aisle. He turned in surprise, a box of Fruit Loops clutched in his hands, and saw Kerry smiling at him.

Kerry lifted his hand in a wave and loped over to Ray’s side. It looked like he had just recently rolled out of bed, with his hair sticking up every which way and with him wearing sweats. “Hey, what’re you doing here? I thought the crew was out. It’s on the news,” he said, looking at Ray curiously.

“I didn’t go. I had to get some stuff,” Ray answered, lifting the cereal box and then tossing it into the cart. Bottles clanked together at the impact and Kerry looked at the cart, eyes widening incredulously.

“Holy shit. Has Geoff’s drinking really gotten that bad?” he asked in surprise.

“You could say that. Hey, it’s cool seeing you, Kerry, but I gotta go,” Ray said quickly, grabbing the cart and starting to move away. While the main crew members were getting used to seeing alternate versions of themselves popping up, Ray didn’t know if Kerry would be quite as understanding.

However, hiding it wasn’t really an option as spooky-Ray turned the corner, calling cheerfully, “I hope we don’t need any real food, because we might need to get another cart for that.” Ray and Kerry looked over at him and spooky-Ray paused as Kerry’s jaw dropped. Kerry looked back and forth between the two Rays, looking more and more freaked out and concerned, until spooky-Ray said slowly, “Um…you didn’t see anything. I’m a ghost…” He drew out the last word and drifted around the corner backwards, waving his hands in front of him and leaving his cart sitting where he’d left it.

Until spooky-Ray seemed to realize this and he quickly came back to grab it, repeating, “I’m a ghost. You see nothing.” And then he was gone again.

Kerry opened and closed his mouth a few times, no sound coming out, and Ray sighed. Before Kerry could say anything, Ray smiled and suggested mildly, “It’s just something the crew is dealing with right now. Maybe you could call Geoff, and he could explain it to you?”

“Um…yeah… That might be good,” Kerry said slowly, pulling his phone out of his pocket and dialing. Ray made sure to leave the aisle quickly, practically charging on to the next one, as Kerry started speaking.

A minute later, Kerry hollered, “Hey, Ray? Phone’s for you!” Ray grimaced.

“I’m not here!” he shouted back, but apparently Kerry didn’t get the message, because he came around the corner toward Ray anyway. Kerry had the phone’s speaker covered with his hand and he held it far away from his face. He passed it off to Ray hurriedly and Ray frowned at him but accepted it. “Hello?” he said into the phone, trying to exude innocent ignorance into his tone.

It didn’t really work.

“What the fuck do you think you all are doing?” Geoff demanded, and Ray pulled the phone away from his ear at the sudden explosion of sound. He was pretty sure he could still hear Geoff clearly if the phone was sitting in the next aisle over. “I wasn’t planning to explain this shit to any of the others, because this shouldn’t be a fucking thing I even need to explain! And then you and your fucking clones go and…and get seen! By Kerry!”

“Hey, Jack asked us to pick stuff up from the store. We were just doing what we were told,” Ray said, and now that Geoff wasn’t yelling, he could hear police sirens through the phone speakers. “How’s the heist going?”

“It was going just fine until I stupidly decided to answer my damn phone,” Geoff growled. “You all get back to the penthouse before anyone else starts asking questions. Give the phone back to Kerry. I’ll think of something to tell him.”

“Sure thing,” Ray said readily, passing the phone back quickly. “Here you go. Don’t piss him off. Gotta go, bye!”

Ray left Kerry standing in the aisle, holding the phone as if it were a bomb about to explode, while Ray hurried off to meet his alternates in the electronics department. He hoped the others were there, since it was definitely time to go. If they didn’t beat Geoff back, Ray was pretty sure he’d be killed three times over.


	7. Ryan's Little Helpers

It was a couple minutes after the Rays left in the van, and things were still going about the same. Ryan was actually trying to fix Michael’s car and get it back in nice, working order (though it would likely require a little professional work to fix up the frame). Spooky-Ryan and the Mad King weren’t as on board with this plan.

Ryan had no idea what they were actually doing, but considering the fact that the Mad King had mentioned something about a ray (and Ryan highly doubted he meant one of the three alternates that had just left), and spooky-Ryan was drawing out some kind of blueprint, Ryan highly doubted it was in any way helpful.

“Hey, take that piece off of whatever the fuck you’re building. I need it,” Ryan said, pointing to a hunk of metal the other two Ryan had attached to their creation.

Spooky-Ryan looked down at the piece and then at the sketch on his clipboard. “But that’s a crucial piece,” he protested.

“And it’s a crucial piece for the _actual car_ ,” Ryan huffed. He was really wishing that someone else down here to watch them. He often didn’t like being around _himself_. Alone. Not to mention being around many other versions of him that were just as difficult as he knew he could be.

This was extremely frustrating, and Ryan was seriously considering murder. But at that point, would it be suicide, or still classified as homicide? Because they were individual people but also him.

Ryan shook his head and sighed. He didn’t need to spend time contemplating questions like that. It was just making his head hurt.

Despite the other two alternate’s protests, Ryan really did need that piece to finish fixing Michael’s car. He growled to himself and pushed himself to his feet, intent on just grabbing their stupid ray thing and tearing it apart himself. He felt like spooky-Ryan at least wouldn’t really fight back – that version of him seemed too nerdy and cut off from anything physical to pose a problem – and Ryan was sure he could take the Mad King if it came down to it.

Instead, as soon as he stood up, there was a loud crash from further back in the garage. His head whipped around toward the noise, his hand going to where he normally kept his gun (even though all the crew’s weapons were still being held by the cops).

“I swear to god, Gavin, if you’re down here breaking shit again,” he threatened, his voice echoing among the concrete walls of the parking garage. Ryan didn’t even care which Gavin he was talking to; he felt like all of them would be equally destructive.

“I’m sorry!” a small voice immediately cried out and Ryan frowned, moving away from Michael’s car and further into the garage, confused.

“I told you that was a bad idea,” another young voice sighed, but that was one that Ryan recognized, and he paused for a moment. He closed his eyes and shook his head, hoping that he was just imagining things and that when he rounded the nearest vehicle he wouldn’t see what he feared.

Ryan took a deep breath and stepped around their tank, toward the truck with the mounted gun. A collection of children were hanging out in the bed and Ryan stomped over.

“What do you think you’re doing? Get down from there! You’re gonna hurt yourselves or something, and I’m not dealing with that shit,” he said sternly. Though at least he hadn’t been wrong. It had been Gavin causing problems. Just not any of the Gavins he had expected.

Little-Gavin squawked and tumbled out of the back of the truck so fast that he fell on his ass on the ground, an ammo box knocked over and spilling its contents all over the bed of the truck. He looked no more than eight, with the same messy hair Ryan was used to on his fully-grown Gavin. Little-Ray froze, holding the handles of the turret and standing on his tiptoes. Even with his small boost up, Ray still couldn’t see over the top of the mounted gun. He and little-Michael looked to be about the same age as little-Gavin, and little-Ray just looked like a mini version of Ray.

Little-Michael scowled and crossed his arms over his chest, planting his small feet in the bed of the truck. His glasses looked too big for his face, and his puffy, curly hair and very clear freckles significantly downplayed the scowl. The only one that hadn’t been on the truck was the little shit that had the voice Ryan knew. Little-Ryan was maybe thirteen and he was smirking down at little-Gavin, a look Ryan knew all too well.

Ryan had no idea what little versions of them were doing here, especially _in the garage_ , or where the Geoff and Jack of this group were, but he most definitely had not wanted to meet a little him. He knew how much of a shit he’d been as a teenager. Wild, rebellious, uncontrolled, and with a severe problem with anyone in a position of authority, Ryan had been a bit of an asshole child. Which was not what he needed right now, not with spooky-Ryan and the Mad King left to their own devices outside Ryan’s line of sight.

“Who are you?” little-Michael demanded fiercely, and for the first time, Ryan wondered just how fucked up the rest of the crew had been as little kids. Seemed like he’d have a chance to find out.

“I’m the one who owns the giant, deadly vehicles that you’re currently playing on. How’d you all even get in here anyway? We lock the door,” Ryan shot back.

“You might want to check your locks, then. They weren’t working so well,” little-Ryan said. Ryan let out a heavy breath. The Rays must not have locked the door again when they’d left. The entire point of the lock had been to keep kids out of the garage. Especially these kids.

“Why is your face painted? It’s not Halloween,” little-Gavin asked as he pushed himself up to his feet, rubbing at his butt with a wince.

“It’s painted because I want it to be,” Ryan said impatiently. “You two need to get down from there. That thing is dangerous.”

“Does it actually work?” little-Ray asked with interest, attempting to turn the turret. He was too small and didn’t have proper leverage, so it only wiggled a little bit, but Ryan still dove toward the truck and reached for the kid.

“Yes, it does!” Ryan snapped. He grabbed little-Michael, since he was closest, and lifted him fully out of the truck, getting a shout and a kick to the gut in return. “Get down and leave that thing alone!”

Little-Michael frowned at him, adjusted his Triforce shirt, looked around and wandered toward the tank, reaching out to touch it. “Why do you have all this stuff here?” he asked.

“Because this is where we keep the big, dangerous things that kids shouldn’t touch,” Ryan griped, grabbing little-Michael’s arm and pulling him away from the tank.

Little-Ryan shrugged, leaning on the back of the truck. “If you cared that much, you should’ve locked the door,” he said with a smirk.

Ryan rounded on him, jabbing a finger in his little alternate’s face. “And you stay out of this. You’re really not helping, and I doubt you ever will be helpful,” he said. Another crash punctuated his sentence and Ryan scowled. “What the fuck was that?” he hollered, and little-Gavin’s hands flew up to cover his ears. Little-Ryan helped little-Ray down from the back of the truck.

“Don’t worry about it. We have it handled,” the Mad King reassured, and Ryan didn’t really feel any better about that.

“You shouldn’t swear. We’re just little kids. We’re impressionable,” little-Ryan reprimanded smugly.  Ryan groaned and put a hand to his head, rubbing at his eyes and the headache growing behind them.

“Yeah. We’re impressible,” little-Gavin piped up.

“I don’t think that’s what he said,” little-Ray pointed out.

“Yeah. Idiot,” little-Michael scoffed.

Ryan dropped his hand and glared at the kids, making little-Gavin back up a step and almost run into little-Ryan. Little-Michael frowned and little-Ray tilted his head, while little-Ryan rolled his eyes, apparently unimpressed. “Who the hell is supposed to be watching you guys?”

“Our dads said they had to do some stuff,” little-Ray said with a shrug.

“Your…dads?” Ryan asked slowly, suddenly lost.

Little-Gavin nodded, grinning widely. “Uh-huh! Well, they’re not really our dads. They just adopted us!” he clarified.

“That makes them our dads, Gavin,” little-Ryan said patiently.

“Do you mean Jack and Geoff?” Ryan asked, figuring that’s likely where this was going. Either that or he was completely wrong and Jack and Geoff didn’t exist in this world, either. Like they didn’t seem to have counterparts where the Mad King was from. (Ryan had heard X-Ray and Vav mention something about the Corpirate in relation to Geoff, but Ryan hadn’t seen the one they were talking about yet, so he had dismissed it).

“Yeah,” little-Ryan said, nicely leaving out the ‘well, duh,’ that Ryan heard in his voice.

Ryan nodded slowly, running a hand through his hair and tugging at his ponytail. He could hear banging and metal hitting metal behind him and he looked around. There was too much going on. “Okay. Do you know where they went?” he asked, trying to force patience into his voice.

“No. They didn’t say,” little-Ray answered.

“Do they know you’re here?” Ryan sighed.

“Nope. We left while they were talking. Their talks are boring,” little-Michael declared.

Ryan scoffed and nodded sympathetically. “I hear you, kid. Look, why don’t you guys go over there, with everyone else in this damn garage, where I can keep an eye on everyone. Help them with the car, try and build something, I don’t care. Just stay over there while I make a phone call,” he said pointing around the tank.

“Okay!” little-Gavin said readily, grabbing little-Ray’s hand and pulling him around the tank. Little-Michael ran after them with a shout to wait up and little-Ryan stared at Ryan for a moment before sighing heavily and trudging after the kids.

“Gavin, be careful! You’re going to fall!” he called, his tone suggesting he’d said it multiple times before.

Ryan moved so that he could see the entire group around the broken car. Little-Gavin had immediately run up to the Mad King, who seemed startled at the children’s sudden appearance. Both little-Gavin and little-Ray seemed interested in the Mad King’s crown, little-Michael was looking at the car, and little-Ryan had crouched down beside spooky-Ryan to look at what was being built with the random parts. Ryan kept his eyes locked on them, ready to go over and stop anything bad from happening, as he pulled his phone out of his pocket.

After a quick dial, Ryan lifted the phone to his ear, tapping his foot impatiently as it rang continually without an answer. He was about to just hang up and try again when Jack picked up and said, “This really isn’t a good time, Ryan.” Ryan could hear sirens in the background, then something exploded, and Ryan frowned. He should have been there with them.

“I actually think it’s a great time,” Ryan said. “We have a problem.”

“What did you do?” Jack demanded and Ryan huffed, rolling his eyes.

“I didn’t do _anything_. Why do you always assume… Know what, I can be upset about that later. We have a group of kids in the garage,” Ryan started.

“So shoo them out. You’re good at that,” Jack said.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea… It’s more of the alternates, Jack. Just…really little,” Ryan said, shaking his head and then scowling at the group around Michael’s car. “Gavin, leave the tools alone! If you drop that hammer on your foot, I swear to god, I’m not helping you!” Little-Gavin looked at him with wide eyes and hastily put the hammer back.

Jack let out a surprised laugh. “There’s actually us as kids now?” he asked incredulously. “How many are there?”

“Four. Me and the lads. Apparently the Jack and Geoff these guys know are the actual adults. You guys must’ve liked us at least a little to have adopted us in any world,” Ryan said. “Dammit, don’t let the kids play with the freeze ray or whatever it is you’re making!”

“It’s a death ray, actually,” the Mad King corrected. He did nothing to try and keep little-Ryan from turning it over in his hands with interest.

“Yeah, a death ray is even less child friendly,” Ryan griped, storming over and snatching the object from little-Ryan’s hands. Little-Ryan protested and scowled and Ryan waved the construction in the face of his three alternates. “Can you all stop causing problems for five fucking minutes? I’m on the phone.”

“Geez. Spoil sport,” spooky-Ryan huffed, turning to his blueprints and continuing to sketch them out. Little-Ryan glowered for a moment and then gathered close to spooky-Ryan’s side to look at the drawing.

“Jack, I can’t deal with this,” Ryan sighed, throwing the in-progress death ray toward the rest of the metal pieces he’d been working with.

Jack snorted. “I don't know what you mean. It sounds like things are going great. But without anyone else there to take them upstairs, I think you’re stuck with them. Because you’re definitely not leaving your two adult alternates alone in our garage,” he said.

Ryan threw his hand up in the air, spinning on his heel and scooping little-Ray up in the process. Little-Ray had been curiously messing with a few sharp metal pieces, and Ryan moved him to a slightly safer area. “Play in the car with Michael,” he advised. Little-Michael had climbed into the driver’s seat of the car and was holding the steering wheel, making car sounds with his mouth.

“I can’t watch a bunch of kids, Jack,” Ryan said, moving away from the group to have at least a semblance of privacy. “I’m a wanted criminal with a large bounty on my head. I’m a highly skilled assassin who has killed more people than most could count. I don’t handle children.”

“Well, unless you can find the me and Geoff from their world, you’re out of luck. We’re a little busy right now and probably won’t be back for a while. You’ll have to figure it out,” Jack sighed. “Look, I gotta go before I run into a traffic light or something. See you later, Ryan. Good luck.”

Jack hung up and Ryan stared down at the phone in his hand, at a loss for words. Little-Michael had started shouting at little-Gavin, something about running him over, and he could hear little-Ryan asking endless questions about what the Mad King and spooky-Ryan were working on. Ryan groaned, shook his head, and punched in a new number.

With any luck, the kids’ Jack and Geoff had turned up upstairs. And if not, he was forcing Gavin to come down and take them away anyway. There was no way in hell Ryan was getting anything done with the group he had now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New AU! Though I'm not sure what this AU is called exactly... Is it the baby AU? Does it have a different name? I have no clue. I'm also still working on figuring out how to distinguish the Jack and Geoff from this world from the others, since they aren't little. Maybe dad-Jack and dad-Geoff? I don't know, we'll see.


	8. Arts and Crafts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks, everyone, for all the comments and kudos and such! I'm kind of shocked that I've surpassed 200 kudos on this story already, and I'm so happy you all enjoy it so much!

It was a few hours later when Michael got back to the penthouse with Jack and Geoff. He was relieved to find his car in one piece again when he pulled into the garage, though the paint was chipped and the front was dented like it had been hit by a hammer. Ryan was going to pay for the fucking repairs, but Michael didn’t have to shoot him and his alternates. As long as it ran, at least.

Grabbing their weapons and vehicles had made for an interesting few hours, but it had been a good interesting. A straight forward heist, with guns and explosions and a rather epic car chase, and no weird doppelgangers screwing things up. Geoff still seemed faintly annoyed, but he wasn’t yelling and raging anymore, which was a good sign.

Michael shoved the front door open, wondering who was going to fix it, and he stepped into the noisy chaos that had become the penthouse. Geoff and Jack moved past him, immediately heading to check on what was happening and see if there were any damages. Michael dropped his bag of weapons inside, kicking the door closed.

“Hey, Ray, Ryan! Come get your shit before someone else does!” he hollered, pulling Gavin’s pistol from the bag and putting it in his pocket. He didn’t trust Gavin to get it quickly and they didn’t need guns winding up in the wrong hands. And then small hands pulled a grenade from the bag and Michael looked around quickly.

A small version of him turned the grenade over in his hands with interest. Little-Michael wasn’t wearing a shirt, at least not like he should have. The long sleeves were tied around his neck so it hung from his back like a cape instead. It seemed as if he’d gotten into Ryan’s face paint, since his face was streaked with red and black, and his hands were similarly stained.

“What the fuck? Hey, don’t touch that!” Michael snapped, snatching the grenade from his little counterpart’s hand and shoving it back in the bag. He immediately grabbed the bag up from the ground again, and when he looked down, little-Michael was scowling at him.

“I was looking at that!” little-Michael shouted, stomping a small foot on the ground. Michael paused and arched an eyebrow at the kid. Had he actually stomped like that when he was little?

“I noticed,” Michael muttered. “What’s going on?”

“There is a small Mogar,” Mogar stated from nearby, pointing at little-Michael.

“I’m Mogar!” little-Michael yelled, throwing his arms up in the air. At least that explained the cape shirt and paint streaks.

“I don’t know if you’ve chosen the best role model, but whatever floats your boat, kid,” Michael said. “But Mogar doesn’t use guns, so let’s not touch them. Got it?”

“Michael!” another small voice cried, and both Michael and little-Michael looked around toward the source. A little-Gavin sat on Vav’s shoulders, and a little-Ray had claimed a spot perched on hybrid-Ryan’s large horns, clutching the bony protrusions for balance. Little-Gavin grinned at little-Michael and gestured for him to come. “Come on, Michael!” Vav looked up at little-Gavin and jumped, shrugging his shoulders at the same time, and making little-Gavin squeal with laughter as he was lurched around.

Little-Michael ran over to them, his shirt-cape flapping, and Mogar trailed along more calmly. “Hey, be careful!” a Geoff that Michael hadn’t seen before called from where he currently lounged on the armchair. “Don’t fall, Ray. And no running inside, Michael!”

“Don’t worry, papa-Geoff. I got him,” hybrid-Ryan said with a grin, grabbing little-Ray’s feet.

“Don’t call me that,” griped the Geoff that Michael assumed was in charge of the gaggle of children now running around the living room.

“Why not? It suits you!” laughed who Michael assumed was papa-Jack, since he’d also never seen him before. Papa-Geoff frowned and crossed his arms over his chest, and little-Ray laughed.

Michael clutched the bag of weapons to his chest and left the chaos of the living room. Hybrid-Michael was popping up behind the back of the couch to tap little-Ray on the back, and dropping back behind the couch each time little-Ray turned around. Spooky-Geoff flipped through channels idly, his tail curled carefully over his lap, and X-Ray muttered something in Vav’s ear, after which he dipped down in a heavy bow, little-Gavin clutching his hair and yelling.

With the children running around and so many alternates that Michael didn’t trust, he decided to drop off all the weapons he had personally. After that, if someone got into them, it wasn’t his fault.

Gripping his bag tightly, Michael wandered down the hall in search of the other crew members. The first one he found was Ryan, scrubbing at the bathroom sink, which had been streaked with face paint. Michael leaned against the doorframe and tried to suppress his laughter when he saw his friend, but it was difficult to keep a straight face, and he ended up snorting with laughter and pulling Ryan’s attention.

The big, bad, scary mercenary that had terrified the city for so long had apparently become a children’s sketch pad while Michael was gone. His jacket had been tossed off to one side, leaving Ryan in a dark T-shirt and jeans. Random streaks of red, black, and white paint colored his face and arms. A messy tic-tac-toe game had been completed on one arm, and he had a big happy face in the middle of his forehead. The scowl he gave Michael was offset by the jack-o-lantern smile that had been painted over his mouth.

“What?” he snapped, leaning on the sink. “This was one of the least destructive activities I could think of for them until Vav distracted them. Stop laughing. Michael, I swear to god, if you don’t shut up… Are you taking a fucking picture right now?”

Michael had propped the bag up with one arm and dug his phone out of his pocket, stealing a quick picture of Ryan before Ryan dove at him. Michael tried to backpedal quickly enough to avoid Ryan, but Ryan caught his legs and yanked him to the ground, making him topple backwards against the wall. He gripped the weapon bag tight against his chest, shoving his phone in the middle.

“This picture is never going away!” Michael yelled, his words choked out between loud laughter as Ryan tried to wrestle his phone away from him. “Ryan! Ryan, no, stop!” Ryan wrestled the bag out of Michael’s grip, glaring, and Michael twisted around and curled into a ball around his phone, trying to keep himself between the phone and Ryan.

“I’ll break your fucking phone if I have to, Michael!” Ryan shouted back, trying to pry Michael’s arm away from his body. Michael stiffened up, fighting to keep Ryan away and kicking at his legs. It had gotten to the point where it was difficult to get a full breath due to his laughter, but his amusement only seemed to be irritating Ryan further.

“…What did I miss?” someone asked, and Ryan and Michael both froze and looked up. Michael couldn’t move his head very far, because Ryan had pinned him down with most of his body weight, but he could see hybrid-Jack looking down at them in confusion well enough. “What happened to your face?”

Ryan growled to himself and rolled off of Michael as Michael’s laughter died down to wheezing chuckles. “I swear, if I see that picture anywhere, you’re fucking dead, Michael,” he swore, pulling his weapons from the bag and then pushing himself upright. Michael just grinned at him, still curled protectively around his phone on the off chance Ryan resumed the attack. Ryan huffed and stomped into the bathroom, carting his weapons with him, and then he slammed the door behind him.

Michael slowly sat up, looking down at his phone. He’d snapped a couple random pictures during the scuffle – most of them featuring his crotch – but he also had a very beautiful photo of the kids’ painted masterpiece. He showed it to hybrid-Jack, grinning. “I got a picture,” he said proudly, pushing himself to his feet and grabbing his, now considerably lighter, bag.

“And that warrants death threats?” hybrid-Jack asked.

“Most things warrant death threats in Ryan’s mind. You get used to it,” Michael said dismissively. “Have you seen Ray? Um…my Ray? I gotta show him this. And give him his stuff.”

Hybrid-Jack pointed down the hall, toward Ray’s room. “Your Geoff is talking to them. He seems upset. Actually, I haven’t seen him any other way. Is that something to get used to, as well?” he asked.

“He’s just grumpy right now. He doesn’t like losing control of things. As soon as all this calms down, he will, too. Thanks, lion Jack!” Michael said, going around him and down the hall to find Ray.

On the way to Ray’s room, Michael passed Ryan’s, which was currently closed and locked with a newly installed padlock. That was probably best, considering all the deadly shit he kept in there, though Michael wouldn’t have gone with a padlock himself. That set-up was just begging for someone to lock someone in the room for a good laugh.

A collection of Ryans had taken over Gavin’s computer room, and Michael wondered if Gavin knew about it. The Mad King had taken the rolling chair and was typing quickly on the keyboard, while spooky-Ryan leaned on the desk and watched curiously. A little-Ryan sat on the edge of the desk, swinging his feet and twisting around to look at the screen. They were being supervised by spooky-Jack, who had claimed a chair against the wall and he was watching everything the Ryans were doing carefully.

“Hey, kid, why don’t you go out and play with your brothers. I don’t think your dads want you hanging out in here for long,” spooky-Jack said and little-Ryan frowned but sighed heavily and jumped off the desk.

“Fine. But they’re boring. There’s nothing cool out there,” he griped, shoving his hands in his pockets and brushing past Michael to wander into the living room. Spooky-Jack raised his hand in a wave and spooky-Ryan shook his head.

“I don’t know what you think we’re gonna do to the kid,” he protested.

“I know you and your love for experimentation, and he’s an alternate, child version of you from another world. And him…I don’t even want to know what he would do,” spooky-Jack said, and Michael scoffed, leaving them to their argument on his search for Ray.

Ray’s bedroom door was cracked and Michael pushed it open, slinging the bag over his shoulder and grabbing the strap. Three identical-looking Rays sat on the bed, which made Michael pause mid-step, because it was really freaky to see. Geoff stood in front of them, arms crossed over his chest and a frown on his face.

“Seriously, this is confusing enough for me, and I’m the one fucking living with it,” Geoff said, and Michael felt like he had missed a good portion of the conversation. “We don’t need to fuck up the rest of the crew’s heads with this, too.”

Michael cleared his throat, interrupting Geoff as he hoisted the bag up. “I got a fuck ton of weapons here that need to be put away, before another kid gets his hands on a grenade,” he said.

“You let a kid have a grenade?” Geoff snapped as Ray hopped off the bed and rushed to snatch the bag from Michael’s hand.

Rolling his eyes, Michael scoffed, “Yeah, Geoff. I gave the kid a fucking hand grenade. I have a fucking death wish. No, little mini-me can’t keep his fucking hands to himself! And why did no one tell me there were kids here?”

“If I have to suffer through not knowing what the fuck is going on, I’m taking all you assholes down with me,” Geoff vowed. Ray pulled his sniper rifle from the bag, turning it over and checking to make sure it was okay.

“You didn’t even take the evidence tags off of these?” he said, shaking his head as he snapped a dangling tag from the neck of the sniper. Behind him, hybrid-Ray pulled off a beanie and let his ears spring up from beneath it. He slid off the bed and slipped around Geoff and out of the room while Geoff was distracted by Michael and Ray.

“I was a little busy, Ray. The cops didn’t really give us the time to clean things up,” Michael scoffed.

“Make sure you lock that thing up. I really don’t need little kids running around with guns. Or grenades. Or any kind of weapon. If I see one kid with a weapon, the owner of it is getting shoved off the fucking roof,” Geoff swore, jabbing a finger at Ray, who did a quick, dismissive two-finger salute.

As soon as Ray had all of his things, Michael took the bag back and threw it over his shoulder. Geoff frowned at them, turned to look back at the bed and the single Ray still sitting there, threw his hands up in the air with a heavy sigh, and pushed past Michael and out of the room.

“By the way, what was all that yelling earlier?” spooky-Ray asked, gesturing down the hall, and Michael grinned, fishing his phone out of his pocket again.

“By looking at this, you two are promising to save my fucking ass if Ryan finds out,” Michael said, bringing up the picture he’d taken. 

“Well, I don’t know about that, but now I have to see,” Ray said, snatching the phone from Michael’s hand. He stared at it and grinned widely, tilting his head and a laugh rising up in his throat. “Please tell me this is a real picture.”

“Of course,” Michael said as Ray showed it to spooky-Ray, who just broke down laughing immediately. “He said he had to distract the kids, so they did some finger painting. I gotta say, I love these kids.” Spooky-Ray nodded in agreement, tossing the phone back to Michael, and Michael shoved it back in his pocket.

Michael was going to show this picture to everyone he could before Ryan managed to clean himself up. This day was fucking amazing.


	9. The Rules (Part 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so I'm giving the guys a little bit of a break from new AUs for the moment, but more will be popping in in the next chapter! Also, I'm sure there's going to be another chapter going over the rules of the clusterfuck, which is why this is a part one.
> 
> And thank you again for all your guys' support! It's amazing and I love you guys.

The crew had a lot of work to do sorting out the mess that had become their penthouse. The place was much too small for everyone. They now had twenty-eight people within a relatively small space, and Geoff and Jack immediately got to work trying to find more room for everyone.

Originally, entire groups of alternates were given separate rooms, but it quickly became crowded and annoying for a lot of people. Not to mention the fact that the crew had to decide whose rooms were given up, and that had resulted in a very loud, aggressive argument that had sent Michael storming out when his room had been volunteered, and Ryan had vehemently fought against anyone having access to his room, including the crew. Not that they could have all fit in there anyway; he had too many plants in one small space to allow more than a couple people.

In the end, Jack and Geoff started clearing out other people from the building. They offered reasons and excuses, some of which were bordering on ridiculous, and most of which were concocted by Geoff (“There’s a horrible gas leak. This whole place could go up if we’re not careful.” “We found high levels of deadly radiation. You don’t want your kids getting some weird mutation, do you?” “There’s a snake infestation. Yes, I know we’re on the twelfth floor. I don’t know how the snakes got up here. They’re wily and deadly and out to kill. They find a way.”). Others were bribed and offered money or paid temporary housing if they could get out immediately, no questions asked.

Meanwhile, the Jacks started organizing everyone and getting basic house rules fleshed out. One of the walls of the penthouse was dedicated to the collection of whiteboards the Rays had picked up. The markers were kept somewhere separate, after dick drawings had appeared on the boards and the little kids had picked up on the design. Papa-Geoff had been furious when he found out and yelled and lectured and scared little-Gavin so much that he cried, but the kids stopped drawing dicks after that.

A chore chart had been drawn up to make sure the penthouse didn’t fall into total disrepair. Spooky-Michael had scoffed at it, insisting they weren’t children with an allowance (or most of them weren’t, at least). He was given extra chore duty by spooky-Jack, while Mogar had to be taken off entirely when it quickly became apparent that he was more likely to break dishes than wash them. Hybrid-Geoff tried to bribe hybrid-Gavin to take on his portion of the work, but his ploy was quickly discovered and he was sent to do the extra work with spooky-Michael under Jack’s supervision.

It quickly became apparent that having the kids cooped up inside the penthouse with a lot of other people barely better than kids themselves was a bad idea. The kids raced through the apartment, running into people and things. Little-Ryan apologized profusely for knocking the surround sound speakers off the walls; little-Gavin broke one of Ryan’s plant pots, and little-Michael nearly wound up with a broken wrist when he tried to jump from the back of the couch onto hybrid-Gavin’s back.

Geoff bought some playground equipment, and Ryan put it together on the roof while hybrid-Ryan put up a fence around it to keep the kids from wandering too close to the edge. The stairs down the fire escape were blocked off with a gate, and though it wasn’t helpful for fire safety, it prevented the kids from running up and down the rickety fire escape. Spooky-Gavin and spooky-Ray set up a decent-sized swimming pool on the roof for the kids as well. Jack and hybrid-Jack got Ray to help them childproof the penthouse, locking up anything they didn’t want them getting into behind child safety locks and heavy-duty padlocks, depending the kid they wanted to keep away.

The Jacks made up nametags and insisted that everyone wear them, so they knew who was who. The Mad King had rolled his eyes and pointed out that most of them had such defining features or clothing that it wasn’t necessary for more than a handful of them. He was quickly overruled when they found out X-Ray had been talked into wearing the same kind of clothes as the other Rays, and they had to sort out which Ray was which, without any of them being helpful.

“Alright, take off the fucking beanies,” Geoff griped, trying to ignore Gavin giggling in the background as he stared at four identical Rays.

“You said a bad word,” little-Gavin pointed out.

“I don’t like this. This is weird,” Vav added, and Ray and X-Ray grinned at each other.

“But it’s cold, Geoff,” spooky-Ray insisted, tugging his beanie further over his ears and smiling cheekily.

Geoff scowled and crossed his arms over his chest, eyeing the collection of Rays in irritation. “I don’t give a damn if it’s cold enough to start fucking snowing in here,” he griped. Hybrid-Ryan paused mid-step as he passed behind the Rays, then grinned and plucked the beanies off of their heads before they even realized he was there.

“Ryan!” hybrid-Ray cried as he spun around, his ears popping up from beneath the beanie. He snatched at the hat but hybrid-Ryan laughed, holding them out of hybrid-Ray’s reach and backing up. At least until he tried to back up through the too-narrow doorway and got stopped suddenly by his protruding horns. Little-Gavin started laughing at the loud thunk and hybrid-Ryan’s briefly confused frown.

“Okay, so he’s the bunny. Awesome,” Geoff said, and spooky-Jack handed hybrid-Ray the appropriate nametag. “Now I have three other identical assholes, and I don’t know how a laser-shooting superhero, and a werewolf look exactly like my fucking sharpshooter.”

“More bad words,” little-Gavin piped up.

Before Geoff could figure out a way to determine the difference between the other three, little-Michael screamed, “X-Ray, help!” X-Ray spun around quickly as the little kid shot around the corner, ducking between hybrid-Ryan’s legs. Little-Michael grabbed X-Ray by the hoodie and spun around behind the Ray alternate, eyes wide but bright with laughter.

“You can’t escape us!” little-Ryan shouted, and hybrid-Ryan moved out of the way quickly before he was shoved aside by the teenager. Little-Ryan tore into the living room, little-Ray hanging on his back like a monkey and clutching a stick in one hand.

“Me and the Ryansaurus are gonna get you, Michael!” little-Ray cried, brandishing his stick, and little-Ryan let out a roar and shook his head, baring his teeth. Geoff supposed he was mimicking a dinosaur.

“Okay, no dinosaurs inside, kids!” Ryan called, wandering out of the kitchen with a bag of chips in one hand. “Let’s go up to the roof with bird Gavin and Mogar. They’d love to play with you.” He herded them out of the living room, and Geoff stared for a moment. Ryan griped and complained about the kids a lot, but he was still good with them and willing to assist when necessary, which was not at all what Geoff had expected of the mad mercenary.

While they left, with little-Gavin chasing along behind and promising he’d help Michael fight the Ryansaurus, spooky-Jack gave X-Ray his nametag. It only left spooky-Ray and Ray, and it was damn near impossible to tell the two apart.

It was another hour before Geoff managed to figure out which one was which. The only reason that it didn’t take longer was because spooky-Ryan ended up getting roped into it, and all he had to do was come into the room saying something Geoff didn’t understand about chemicals and the full moon and creating a more mild reaction, and spooky-Ray bolted.

After that, it was decided that everyone was supposed to wear a nametag at all times, and any time it was suspected that they were switched around, one of the Jacks was to be told.

The Jacks started making up a list of basic rules as well. A bedtime was enforced for the children, and hybrid-Jack had suggested a swear jar be implemented to try and reduce the curse words being used around the kids. Papa-Jack was all for this suggestion, after he had to get onto little-Michael for calling little-Ryan a “damn asshole”. The Geoffs and Michaels were the ones putting the most money into the jar, and it was suspected that the Gavins and Ryans were the ones taking the most money out when no one was looking.

There were rules about who could go where, such as the Mad King and spooky-Ryan were not allowed down in the garage, and Mogar was banned from the kitchen after he got frustrated with the child locks (despite being shown how to use them a few times) and sliced through them with his sword. None of the alternates were allowed out of the penthouse except under specific circumstances. Only the human-looking alternates could leave, and only with a member of the crew that didn’t look like them. After Kerry had seen the Rays in the store, Geoff had wanted to make sure that they didn’t freak out more of the crew.

Then there was the rule that declared Ryan was no longer allowed to wear his skull mask outside of heists, and to ensure that this rule was followed, Geoff had confiscated it.

Ryan had thought it was funny to put on the mask and scare people. The crew was so used to seeing it that it didn’t have the same effect anymore. Sometimes he could make one of them jump a little if he came up quietly enough, but for the most part, they were used to it. So he decided to mess with the alternates instead.

After all, he didn’t often have the chance to scare Gavin three times over.

The first person that he got was spooky-Geoff, who rounded the corner and nearly ran right into Ryan. Despite the fact that he was a demon and he came from a world full of horror movie creatures, he took one glance at Ryan’s mask and screamed, jumping away and flailing. The fire between his horns flared up and almost caught a curtain on fire, but Ryan had only been lectured about that. Not that Ryan had been listening much, since it took a long time for his laughter to die down.

The second time, Ryan was able to catch a couple of the kids unawares. Little-Gavin squealed, turned around, and ran back the way he’d come. Little-Michael had jumped and then proceeded to yell at Ryan for being mean and scaring little-Gavin and probably making him cry. Jack had forgone the lecture after that, assuming being yelled at by a little kid would do something to make Ryan stop.

Instead, Ryan had continued to lurk around corners and in doorways, waiting for someone to approach that he could scare. X-Ray nearly blasted a hole through the wall in surprise, and hybrid-Michael’s tail puffed up to three times its size. Hybrid-Gavin knocked a picture off the wall with his wings, and hybrid-Ray just stayed as far away from Ryan as he could, insisting he’d have a heart attack if that happened to him.

But it was Ryan’s final scare that initiated the mask ban. He had been lingering in the hallway, waiting for someone to come around from the living room, when he heard footsteps approaching. Ryan grinned and made sure his mask was on fine before he popped out around the corner with a rather mild, “Boo.”

Someone shouted and jumped and Ryan started laughing before he’d even registered who it was that he’d scared. And then he saw the large sword come free, light glinting off its blade, and his laughter cut out abruptly. Mogar glared at Ryan, his face full of a murderous intent that Ryan fully recognized, and Ryan ran.

The rest of the penthouse’s occupants found it highly amusing to see the Vagabond, with his terrifying black skull mask, racing down the hall and being pursued by an angry, sword-wielding Mogar. The chase ended with them on the roof and Jack and papa-Jack trying to diffuse the situation without being stabbed. They needed to bring the Mad King up to the roof as well to talk Mogar down, though he wasn’t as helpful as they wanted with his muttered promises of getting revenge at a later date.

It was after that fiasco that Ryan’s mask was taken away and locked up with all the other restricted access items, and he ended up sulking about it for a while. He also made a point to avoid Mogar when he could.

All in all, the penthouse had become a madhouse, but the Jacks were starting to think they might be able to keep everything under control. If no one else showed up to cause problems, of course.


	10. Shooting Practice

Ryan often woke up before everyone else, mostly out of habit. Even the kids were often still asleep by the time he got up, and yet he heard sounds coming from the living room. He frowned and sat up, running a hand over his face. Rough little hairs prickled his hands as his fingers trailed over his chin, and he realized he needed to shave again before he applied his face paint.           

Michael let out a tired grumble, burying his face in his pillow. Despite his protests, Geoff and Jack had decided his room was going to be given up to someone else. The Mad King and Mogar had been given Michael’s room, since it had been decided there was no way in hell they were sharing a room with X-Ray and Vav. With this new arrangement, Michael and Ryan had been forcibly made roommates.

Ryan stepped over Michael’s blanket nest carefully and he wished that Geoff hadn’t taken his mask away. Even though everyone in the penthouse was them, he didn’t _know_ them. And he’d gone too long hiding his face behind a mask or paint to be comfortable without it.

Moving quietly, Ryan slipped out of his room and wandered down the hall, stopping in the doorway to the living room. He didn’t recognize the group that was roaming around the little room, or even who the hell they were supposed to _be_ , until he noticed the new Gavin.

This group’s Gavin was poking at the television mounted on the wall, staring at it in confusion. He was dressed all in green and he had a bow hanging on his back alongside a small collection of arrows, and what looked like a sword of stone on his belt. A scarf draped around his neck sported many different shades of green in a blocky, checkerboard pattern, and Ryan recognized the Creeper face in the center. He’d seen the kids playing Minecraft often enough recently to know what it was.

Minecraft-Michael was crouched down by the Xbox, and he jumped when it came to life with a cheerful beep after a single poke. He was dressed very similarly to Mogar, with a bear pelt that was pulled up so that the head was a hood and a diamond sword on his back. He also had a bright blue backpack slung over his shoulders that seemed to be keeping the sword in place.

Minecraft-Jack stood in the middle of the room, slowly turning in place and staring at the living room in general. He wore a green T-shirt, and a motorcycle helmet dangled from one hand. He had an iron sword and axe hanging from loops in his belt. Near him was Minecraft-Geoff, dressed in full green Halo armor with a helmet tucked under his arm. A diamond pickaxe rode at one hip, a similarly designed sword at the other, and his hand rested near the sword’s hilt as he looked around with a frown.

The last one in the room was Minecraft-Ryan, and Ryan wondered if there was some kind of trend in other worlds where it was common for him to wear a suit jacket and a kilt, because Minecraft-Ryan looked weirdly similar to the Mad King. Just without the crown. Like the others, he was armed, a diamond sword strapped to his back. He was looking down at a worn and crumpled map with a frown, turning it around in his hands.

Minecraft-Michael reached out to pick up the Xbox and Ryan stepped into the living room quickly. They almost always had a game in there, and Ray would be pissed if one of his games was marred by a ring of death. It would be easy to get a new one, but he’d still be upset. “Don’t touch that!” Ryan snapped, and Minecraft-Michael pulled his hands away quickly as everyone looked around at Ryan. “You’re going to break it.”

“What the hell?” Minecraft-Geoff said at the same time that Minecraft-Gavin’s eyes widened and he blurted, “Two Ryans!”

Ryan nodded absently, glancing around the room quickly. There were only five new alternates in the living room, and ever since X-Ray and Vav had burst through the door, they’d been coming in groups of six. Which meant there was one missing. “Yeah, I think I’m gonna get someone else to explain it, because I still can’t,” he said slowly. “Are you guys missing a Ray?”

“He’s gone,” Minecraft-Michael said dismissively.

“He’s in a better place now,” Minecraft-Ryan said with the smallest smirk. Ryan blinked, confused. They weren’t seriously saying that…their Ray was _dead_. Because Ray was not going to like that very much.

“Quit telling people I’m dead, _Jesus Christ_ ,” Minecraft-Ray said as he wandered down the other hall, one of Ryan’s potted plants in his hands. “What is this? It won’t tell me.”

“Would you all quit picking stuff up?” Ryan barked. “You’re fucking dead if you drop that shit. And what the hell… _did you just punch my television?”_

“I just wanted to knock it down and see what it was!” Minecraft-Gavin said, quickly putting his hands behind his back.

“I just…I don’t…That doesn’t make sense!” Ryan said, storming forward and grabbing the pot from Minecraft-Ray’s hands roughly. This Ray alternate at least didn’t look identical to the others. He was wearing a suit with a rose in the lapel and a white mask covered his eyes. He frowned at Ryan and down at the plant. “Geoff! Jack! Or someone who isn’t me or a child!” Ryan hollered, making Minecraft-Gavin jump and Minecraft-Jack cover his ears.

“Dude, you don’t have to yell,” Minecraft-Geoff grumbled, and Ryan could hear movement in other parts of the penthouse as well. “What the hell is going on?”

“Someone had better be dead or dying right now, because I swear to god,” Geoff shouted as he turned the corner into the living room. He was only wearing his pajama pants and he still looked half-asleep as he stopped in his tracks in the doorway and blinked at the group of Minecraft alternates.

“What’s wrong?” little-Michael murmured sleepily, and Ryan turned, catching sight of the little kid clutching a stuffed teddy bear to his chest and rubbing sleep from his eyes. Little-Gavin lingered near his shoulder, a blanket draped around his shoulders like a cloak, and he was holding the back of little-Michael’s shirt.

“Oh, fun. More people,” hybrid-Geoff mumbled behind Geoff, as Jack stepped up behind the two little kids. The Minecraft alternates looked back and forth between everyone who popped up, apparently confused.

“…What is this?” Minecraft-Jack asked slowly, staring at Jack.

“It’s an odd story,” Jack answered. “Kids, go get dressed. Don’t wake up your brothers, please.” Little-Gavin stared at the Minecraft group for a moment and then tugged at little-Michael’s shirt, pulling him back down the hall. “Geoff, help me out here.”

“What?” Geoff whined, as hybrid-Geoff disappeared back down the hall rather quickly. “I’m not even awake, Jack. And I haven’t had my breakfast vodka yet.”

Ryan snorted out a laugh and followed hybrid-Geoff’s lead, leaving Jack and Geoff to explain things to the Minecraft crew while he went to shower, shave, and put on his face paint.

He was closed up in the bathroom for nearly an hour and a half (it took longer than people thought to make sure he was ready), and by the time he was done, pretty much everyone was up and moving, and it had become loud and chaotic. Ryan made his way into the kitchen, stomach growling, and he nearly tripped over little-Ray running by with Minecraft-Gavin’s stone sword. Ryan snagged the back of little-Ray’s shirt as he went, grabbing at the sword.

“Hey, whoa, where did you get that?” he asked, pulling the sword out of little-Ray’s hand gingerly. “And who the hell is watching you kids?”

“Creeper Gavin, don’t give my kids weapons!” papa-Geoff hollered as he grabbed the sword from Ryan’s hand and frowned down at little-Ray. “You know you shouldn’t be playing with things like this, Ray.”

“But Gavin got to look at the bow!” little-Ray complained loudly.

“He did… Okay, we need to talk to your brother and Creeper Gavin. Come on, kid,” papa-Geoff said, grabbing little-Ray’s hand and leading him away. Ryan watched them go and sighed, shaking his head as he went into the kitchen.

Geoff was downing a glass of some kind of alcohol while simultaneously trying to put on a shoe, with limited success. “We need more shit,” Geoff said as Ryan rummaged around in a cupboard for something quick to eat. “Me and Jack are going on another shopping trip. We’re taking spooky-Ray and Gavin with us. If anything blows up or anyone dies while we’re gone, I blame you.”

“You know there are a few dozen other people here that you could blame, right?” Ryan said wryly, grabbing a bagel and throwing the bag back in the cupboard.

“Yeah, but it’s our place, and when me and Jack leave, you’re in charge. So if anything happens, it’s your fault,” Geoff said matter-of-factly as he laced up his shoe. “And I really don’t want to get a call while we’re gone.”

“Whatever you say, Geoff,” Ryan sighed, lifting his hand in a mocking salute. “Though if you’re that worried, you could always stay here and let me leave this damn penthouse for once.”

“No. I’m the boss, and this is what I say is happening,” Geoff said firmly. “Besides, if you go out there, I know that we’re leaving at least one dead body behind, and I don’t want to deal with a fucking police chase when we’re out on simple errands.

“Swear jar,” Ryan said, pointing to the jar on the counter which had quite a few loose bills sitting in it already. Some of those bills may have also accidentally found their way into Ryan’s wallet. “And I haven’t killed someone for _so long_. Since…since the heist before last! Vav didn’t even let me shoot one cop on the last heist, and I’ve been cooped up here since then. I’m going insane, Geoff!”

“That implies that you were sane before,” Geoff said, digging a dollar from his pocket and dropping it in the jar while childishly sticking his tongue out at Ryan. “And no, you’re not going to kill anyone. You’re on a murder break. Accept it.” With that, he left the kitchen, calling for the group he’d gathered to go out and run errands.

Ryan scowled after him and angrily took a bite of his bagel. He hated going this long without hurting someone – it didn’t feel right, and it made him antsy and twitchy.

Though if he couldn’t shoot someone, maybe shooting a gun in general would work to relieve some of his pent-up energy.

Ryan slipped back to his room, going around Minecraft-Michael and Mogar admiring the other’s swords and little-Ryan explaining the lights to an interested Minecraft-Jack. Ryan grabbed a couple weapons from his gun case, carefully tucking the key into his pocket, and then leaving with one gun tucked into a pocket in his jacket and another in hand.

“Hey, Rye. What’re you doing?” Michael asked when Ryan wandered back into the living room.

“Therapy,” Ryan said with a grin, lifting the gun. “Geoff won’t let me leave and get rid of some stress, so I’m gonna try and shoot down some birds. It might help.”

“Shooting something sounds amazing. Mind if I join?” Michael asked and Ryan shrugged, shaking his head. He didn’t care one way or another, as long as no one shot him.

Ryan made his way up to the roof, going around the playground set up and moving toward the edge of the roof. On the off chance the kids came up to play, he didn’t want to be near them with a live weapon, or else Geoff would probably make sure there was one less Ryan in the penthouse.

By the time Michael joined Ryan, three birds had been shot from the sky, and Ryan was amusing himself by sighting down the gun into windows and down to the street, pretending to pick off people. They wouldn’t even see it coming. It would be perfect. But it wouldn’t go unnoticed for long, so Ryan fought down the urge to pull the trigger.

Michael was followed by Mogar and the whole Minecraft group, most of whom were looking at Ryan with a mix of curiosity and confusion. “What’s that?” Minecraft-Ray asked, pointing at Ryan’s gun and looking at it with interest.

“It’s a gun. It makes it easier to kill people than those swords of yours,” Ryan said, aiming for a pigeon on a roof across the street and shooting. Minecraft-Gavin jumped and squawked at the noise, and Minecraft-Jack winced.

“That’s brutal,” Minecraft-Jack muttered.

“Yeah, and hacking someone to pieces isn’t?” Ryan scoffed.

“Mogar finds the sword very useful,” Mogar said with a frown. “It does not run out of metal pieces. It will never fail Mogar.”

Ryan raised an eyebrow at Mogar and worked on reloading his gun. “But with a gun, I could kill you before you’d even come close enough to hit me with that thing,” he pointed out. “And I’d only use up one ‘metal piece’ in doing so.”

Michael looked between them and then grinned, pulling a pistol from his jacket and offering it to Mogar. “Here. Try it out. It works awesome,” he said, and Ryan shuffled a few feet away from Mogar, sliding his clip home and watching the bear man warily.

Mogar looked down at the gun and took it hesitantly, holding it gingerly as if he expected it to explode in his hands.

“So how do those things work, anyhow?” Minecraft-Geoff asked.

“It looks like it’s a tiny dispenser,” Minecraft-Ryan commented, tilting his head. “How do they get the redstone into such a small space?”

Ryan opened and closed his mouth a couple times, debating whether or not he should try explaining how a gun worked, but he decided against it. He didn’t think they’d understand even if he tried.

A sudden gunshot made Ryan jump and Mogar shouted, dropping the gun and drawing his sword to point at it suspiciously. A flattened bullet lay in a small dent on the concrete roof, right in front of Michael’s feet. Michael lifted a hand at Mogar, smiling weakly as he grabbed his gun.

“Hey, calm down. You just pulled the trigger. It’s fine. But…why don’t you just stick with the sword…” Michael said, grabbing the pistol and making sure it wasn’t damaged.

“Can I see it?” Minecraft-Michael asked eagerly.

“Aw, I wanted to look at it,” Minecraft-Gavin complained.

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea…” Ryan said slowly, but Michael didn’t seem to be listening. He sized up Minecraft-Michael and Minecraft-Gavin and then nodded and grinned, passing the gun off to Minecraft-Michael and making Minecraft-Gavin complain loudly.

Ryan had no time to react before Minecraft-Michael wrapped his finger around the trigger, pointed the gun at Minecraft-Gavin, and pulled. The familiar bang of the pistol sounded over the rooftop and blood sprayed from Minecraft-Gavin’s arm. The Gavin alternate yelped and jumped back, grabbing at his arm.

“What the fuck?!” Ryan shouted and Michael’s eyes widened. “Why…why would you _shoot him_? You know what, none of you is getting a gun ever again!” He grabbed the gun from Minecraft-Michael’s hand, while Minecraft-Jack stepped up to Minecraft-Gavin to look at the bullet wound.

“I think I have a couple pork chops still,” Minecraft-Ryan said calmly, digging around in his pockets. Minecraft-Ray beat him to it, pulling a piece of meat from his pocket with a triumphant shout. Ryan stared, wondering where the hell he’d been keeping it.

“Here, Gavin. This’ll help,” he said, passing it over, and Minecraft-Gavin took it readily, wincing as he moved his arm. Minecraft-Gavin scarfed down the meat and then looked at the bullet wound, a frown spreading over his face.

“Jack, it’s not working,” Minecraft-Gavin complained, showing Minecraft-Jack his injury.

“That’s weird. Are you still hungry?” he asked, pulling an entire slice of melon from his pocket and offering it to Minecraft-Gavin.

“No. I’m full. But I’m not healing,” Minecraft-Gavin said with a frown.

Ryan sighed and tucked his gun in his pocket, throwing his hands up in the air. “Okay, I’m putting a stop to this stupid conversation. Eating food doesn’t actually heal anyone here, and that’s not going to work. Michael, can you grab the first aid kit for me? And no one tells Geoff about this, or else all of us are going to get shot.” He looked at the Minecraft group pointedly and mostly got a lot of confused looks in return.

“I’ll be right back,” Michael said, nodding slowly, and then hurrying across the roof to the fire escape.

This was why it was a bad idea to leave Ryan in charge. He could barely watch out for his own crew members, let alone a group of people who didn’t even know what electricity was. Someone had already been shot, and it wasn't even noon yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And another AU joins the chaos!
> 
> So I've decided that certain portions of the Minecraft world still work in Los Santos, such as their large inventory spaces and the ability to respawn. I figure if magic and immortality and resurrection can all be done in this world, why not these minor Minecraft mechanics? Though most anything else the poor Minecraft guys are used to aren't going to work as well...


	11. Trick or Treat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a few days late, but it's been a crazy Halloween, and I wasn't able to finish this chapter until now.
> 
> Also, I wanted to let you all know that updates are going to be more sporadic and less frequent this month while I do NaNo. I'll still try and update (I'm going to need a break from NaNo now and again), but it won't be as often.

It seemed as if, with everything going on recently, the kids were the only ones keeping track of the days.

Gavin was woken up by someone launching themselves onto his bed, and he jerked upright with a squawk and threw his arms up over his face. Michael liked to throw things at him some mornings, or Ryan would try to scare him while Gavin was still sleepy and disoriented. But instead of either of those things happening, childish laughter broke out, and Gavin blinked, lowering his hands.

Little-Gavin was draped over Gavin’s legs, beaming up at him, with little-Ray perched on the foot of the bed. Gavin turned just in time to see little-Ryan help launch little-Michael onto the bed as well, and little-Michael landed against Gavin’s chest, knocking him back down onto the bed with another surprised shout.

“Um, hi?” Gavin said as little-Michael grinned down at him from his chest, bouncing slightly and making Gavin release his breath in odd little gasps.

“Wake up, wake up, wake up!” little-Gavin cried cheerfully.

“Our dads said you could come with us!” little-Michael added.

“Go with you where?” Gavin asked blankly, looking over at little-Ryan with a grimace. “Please help.”

Little-Ryan laughed and just watched, making no move to get his little brothers off of Gavin. “We’re going shopping, and Geoff said to get you so that you could show us where the stores are,” he explained.

“The Halloween store,” little-Ray corrected, and little-Ryan nodded, allowing the point.

“Halloween?” Gavin asked blankly, reaching for his phone (which was a little difficult to do with little-Michael on his chest), and powering it on with a push of the button. The first thing he noticed was that it was eight am, and way too early for him to be getting up in most circumstances. After that was the date – October 31st. And he had no idea how he’d missed it. Halloween was a grand time in the crew, and they always tried to do something.

But with the influx of people and the chaos that had been a part of the penthouse for so long now, it kind of made sense why Gavin hadn’t realized it.

“Oh. Well, sure, I’ll go with you,” Gavin said, setting his phone next to his pillow. “But I need to get up. And put on pants. I’ll be out there soon.”

“Okay,” little-Ray said with a smile as he slid off the bed.

“Come on, guys. Let’s let him get dressed. We have something else we wanted to do before we go, remember?,” little-Ryan said, pulling little-Gavin from the bed. He let out a surprised squeak sound, and Gavin let out a huff of breath as little-Michael crawled off of his chest, his knee jamming into Gavin’s ribs.

The kids left, and Gavin briefly wondered what their other plan was, but he decided to ignore it. There were other people around that could make sure they were okay – he had to get ready to go.

The crew had only had to share rooms for a couple of nights, until the gents got new arrangements figured out for the alternates, which gave them all their rooms back. The alternates had been moved into smaller apartments on the two floors below the penthouse. The people who used to live there had moved out, freeing up the spaces, and Geoff, Jack, and Ryan had spent some time refurnishing and fixing the places. Gavin knew all about it, since Ryan couldn’t stop complaining, after Jack had essentially grounded him and added his name to a list of people who needed constant supervision after Minecraft-Gavin got shot. Ryan was also angry that Michael had only gotten a lecture from Jack and had his weapons removed from his room, but was free to continue doing as he pleased.

All of the apartments had been given basic furniture and they were stocked with food and anything specific that each alternate group needed. The locks were also removed from all the doors, because Geoff insisted he needed to be able to go down and check on anyone without a door getting in his way, just in case something was happening that shouldn’t have been. 

Of all the new arrivals, the X-Ray and Vav group was the only one that still remained in the penthouse. It had been decided that it was a horrible idea to have the two superheroes trying to live with Mogar and the Mad King without any kind of supervision, and so Jack had given them the two spare bedrooms. It did mean that Gavin had to fight the Mad King for control of his computer when he wanted to use it, but at least it was only one person he had to argue with and not a whole group of them.

Gavin got dressed quickly, grabbing his sunglasses from his nightstand and shoving his phone in his pocket. He jammed his sunglasses on his face, the room darkening around him as he stepped out of his room and into the living room.

Coming down the hall, Gavin almost ran directly into hybrid-Ryan. The bull hybrid stood in the doorway leading to the living room, and little-Ray stood precariously on his horns. Little-Ryan stood behind them, hands up protectively in case little-Ray fell.

“Right there! That looks good!” little-Michael declared, and a ghost cut out dropped from the doorway, directly into Gavin’s face.

Gavin shouted and jumped back in surprise, and the kids laughed, hybrid-Ryan grinning at him around the ghost. “Sorry, Gav,” he said, lifting little-Ray from his horns with care and setting the boy on the ground.

“What are you doing?” Ryan asked from the other doorway, and despite the early hour, he sounded quite awake. Gavin wondered if he had fallen asleep yet. The two of them were the ones most often to stay up all night, and while Gavin tended to now and again, Ryan seemed to be awake for long stretches more frequently.

Or at the very least, he’d had the time to do up his face paint and get dressed, so he’d been awake for at least an hour.

“It’s a ghost,” little-Gavin said, pointing to the ghost as hybrid-Ryan moved out of the way. Gavin stepped into the living room and looked up. A string tied through the ghost’s head had been thumbtacked to the doorway so it dangled freely.

“This is the last place we put one,” little-Ryan said. “It’s a surprise. For dad and anyone named Geoff. We thought it would be funny.”

Ryan blinked, looking up at the ghost and then down at the kids before he shrugged. “Okay. Sounds good to me. Just so long as no one blames me,” he said.

“Well…no promises,” hybrid-Ryan said with a small smile.

“And to think I liked you,” Ryan huffed, jabbing a finger at his hybrid counterpart as he wandered into the kitchen. “I’m telling Geoff I have nothing to do with it if he survives his heart attack.”

“Can we go now?” little-Gavin asked, looking at Gavin eagerly. “Dad and daddy are waiting for us downstairs.”

Gavin nodded, glancing at the ghost again. He felt kind of bad for Geoff, but at the same time, it was really funny to see the big bad crime boss getting scared by little things. And there would be so many of them getting scared. It would be top.

“Yeah, let’s go,” Gavin said, scrounging up his shoes and grabbing one of the sets of keys from its hook on the wall.

As the kids had said, papa-Jack and papa-Geoff were waiting in the building’s lobby, and papa-Geoff was cradling a coffee cup to his chest, watching the group coming downstairs blearily. Papa-Jack smiled, hanging back as Gavin unlocked the garage door. “Thanks for coming with us, Gavin,” he said.

“I wanted Ryan to come,” little-Ryan declared.

“Ouch. Gee, thanks,” Gavin said dryly, holding the garage door open and letting everyone else go past him. He needed to lock the door behind them so that no one else made their way into the garage. “I thought you liked me.”

“I do, but I like Ryan better,” little-Ryan said matter-of-factly.

“Ryan, be nice,” papa-Jack admonished, smacking the teenager lightly upside the head.

“Besides, that Ryan is in trouble,” papa-Geoff pointed out. “And I don’t like you hanging around him. Or any of them. Except the bull one, he’s okay.”

Little-Ryan rolled his eyes but didn’t say anything else as Gavin unlocked the van and then passed the keys off to papa-Jack. He normally loved driving, but he’d been told that if he got behind the wheel of a car that the kids were in, he was losing his car privileges. So papa-Jack was probably the best person to take over instead.

The rest of the day was just as interesting as the start. Gavin directed them to a number of different stores, because just one or two didn’t have everything the kids wanted. None of them wanted to get a pre-made, already packaged costume; they all wanted to create their own, based on various alternates.

Little-Gavin decided he wanted to dress up like Vav, and they managed to find a blue spandex suit and a blue cape at the first store before they had to move on. He also insisted on getting new underwear (“I need a red pair!” “Gavin, you already have red underwear. We’re not buying an entire new pack just for a Halloween costume.” “I don’t want to wear that. It’s gross and dirty. I need clean ones, dad!” “You know we have a washing machine, right?”), and they got red rubber gloves that Gavin thought were going to be too big for the little kid.

Little-Michael had declared, quite strongly, that he was going to be Mogar. The face paint was easy to get – Gavin had had to go out and get Ryan more paint often enough that he knew exactly where to find it in a number of stores. A foam sword and yellow pants were also easy to come by, but everything else was far more difficult. They had to go to a few different places in order to find bracers that little-Michael was happy with, but they hadn’t been able to find a bear pelt anywhere. Gavin doubted that there was even a store in Los Santos that sold them. Instead, papa-Jack had convinced Michael to just get furry looking fabric, and they could quickly form it into a cloak.

Little-Ryan seemed unable to decide who he wanted to be exactly, and so he settled for a mad scientist king. Papa-Geoff hadn’t been exactly pleased with his decision (“Why do you want to go as them? I’m pretty sure they’re both criminally insane. No offense, Gavin.” “Oh, come on, dad. It’s just a Halloween costume. And they’re really smart! They can make a lot of cool things. Did you see that death ray the Mad King made?” “Yeah, you’re done hanging out with them. I don’t need my kid making laser guns.”) but little-Ryan had eventually gotten his way.

A lab coat was easy to find, and they got a crown from Burger King when they stopped for lunch. They got him a dress shirt and a bowtie, but little-Ryan decided he didn’t want to wear a kilt like the Mad King or Minecraft-Ryan, insisting it was weird, so they didn’t have to worry about that part. One of the stores they stopped at had little plastic test tubes that they picked up, and little-Ryan managed to convince his dads to get him a sci-fi looking gun that lit up and made sounds. It was mostly papa-Jack grabbing it behind papa-Geoff’s back, but little-Ryan got his gun all the same.

Of all the kids, little-Ray was the easiest to shop for. He wanted to be a werewolf sniper, because like little-Ryan, he had trouble choosing just one. The werewolf costume was the easiest to get, since it came in a set in the first Halloween store they went to. Little-Ray only wanted the tail, mask, and fuzzy gloves that it came with, but it was easiest to just buy the whole thing instead of hunting down individual pieces. And the crew had a very large amount of money stored up from past heists, so the few extra dollars they put down for the full costume was nothing.

For little-Ray, the hardest thing to find was a sniper rifle. Little-Ray had suggested using Ray’s real one, but he was quickly shut down by papa-Jack. (“You’re not using a real gun, Ray. It’s dangerous.” “But we already have it! We don’t have to buy one.” “I’d rather buy a fake gun that doesn’t shoot anything than let you play with a real sniper rifle.”) It took a while, but they eventually found a Nerf sniper rifle, and little-Ray had seemed overjoyed at the fact that he could still shoot things without it being dangerous.

Besides costumes, the kids insisted on getting enough decorations to make everyone’s apartments and rooms look like a haunted house. The back of the van was filled with thirty pumpkins, carving tools and designs, streamers, dangling decorations, fuzzy spiders, bags of fake cobwebs, and strobe light boxes and flashing, spinning balls of multicolored lights.

The rest of the day, before darkness fell, was taken up with decorating. Geoff had been very opposed to the idea (Gavin was told that he’d screamed and fallen on his ass when he’d come face to face with the ghost, and he was very upset by this), but he had been overruled by the rest of the crew. The spooky group had been the most eager to assist, throwing decorations up everywhere alongside the kids.

Everyone was convinced to carve a pumpkin, but the concept had to be explained to a few of the alternates. Mogar didn’t seem to understand why they were doing this, and he had to be talked into ditching his sword in favor of a small knife. The Minecraft group also didn’t know how it worked, and they had originally been confused by the fact that the pumpkins didn’t already have faces. Even after they had been carved, Minecraft-Gavin had asked why he couldn’t put it on his head like a normal pumpkin, and Minecraft-Michael had balanced his on his head anyway.

It had taken some convincing and many promises of minimal death, destruction, and agreeing to follow all the Jack’s rules and suggestions for Geoff to agree to let everyone out of the building for the night. On Halloween, the various oddities such as spooky-Jack’s leafy mass or hybrid-Gavin’s large wings wouldn’t stand out. It was just required that each group have a member of the crew with them, armed and ready for anything to happen, and that no one was allowed out for more than a couple hours.

Gavin had been allowed to accompany the kids again, which he was actually very happy for, because they were going trick or treating. Gavin found a fireman suit hidden in the back of his closet, from a heist that he didn’t even remember at this point, and he wore that out. The crew also managed to scrounge up various “costumes” for papa-Jack and papa-Geoff, which consisted of a pilot’s outfit and a SWAT uniform.

The night was spent going door to door behind the kids and making sure they were okay. Gavin was a little worried the cops would notice them, but Jack had assured him that, if he didn’t do anything to draw attention to himself or the group, they should be fine. The cops were looking for a notorious group of criminals who tended to cause trouble and destruction on Halloween, not a handful of adults accompanying a group of cheerful trick or treaters.

It was later that Gavin learned his group had been one of the most innocent. The spooky alternates and Geoff had gone out to a bar where something had caught fire. Spooky-Geoff insisted it was in no way related to him getting extremely drunk and letting his fire get out of control. Jack had to keep the Mad King from testing a new gadget that he had somehow kept secret from the crew, which had apparently been a form of mind control shoved into a gun. A fight had started between the Mad King, X-Ray, and Vav, and Jack had dragged them all back to the penthouse early.

The hybrid crew, with Ryan and Ray, had encountered problems that Ryan declared definitely wasn’t his fault and wasn’t due to the fact that Geoff had grudgingly allowed him his mask for the night. He had managed to scare hybrid-Gavin into flight, and they lost hybrid-Ray when he bolted down the road. On an unrelated note, hybrid-Geoff managed to destroy a telephone pole with his horns when he had drunkenly charged it down.

Michael had gone with the Minecraft guys, and had had to herd them away from downtown when they had tried dismantling one of the buildings for crafting materials. Minecraft-Ryan had attempted (rather unsuccessfully) to sneakily obtain a few bottles of alcohol from the bar that they were then kicked out of, and Minecraft-Gavin had freaked out and attempted to kill someone dressed as a zombie with his bow.

And yet, despite the various problems and the oddness of the day, Gavin considered it to be one of the best Halloweens he’d had in a while. At the very least, he hadn’t been shot at or run over, so he was very happy with that.


	12. Magical Mayhem

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I'm back with more clusterfuck madness! And a new AU to throw into the mess. :D Thanks again for all your support and interest guys, and I hope you enjoy this next chapter!

Somehow, between babysitting a collection of young children and fully grown children and making sure the building didn’t sustain significant, gaping-hole-in-the-wall damage, Geoff had found time to get away from it all and do something to distract himself from the weirdness.

At the moment, Geoff had holed himself up in the war room with a bottle of whisky he’d scrounged up in the back of a kitchen cupboard. The table had been scattered with a collection of random items – spooky-Ryan had apparently being doing some kind of science experiment for the kids, judging by the glass tubes and beakers and food-dye-colored water staining the table. Some of the toys papa-Geoff and papa-Jack had grabbed for the kids had been spread across the table and on the seats, the Minecraft guys had tried to build torches for some reason by jamming small pieces of barbeque charcoal onto sticks, and those had been tossed in a corner. Drawings had joined the newspaper articles and heist notes on the walls.

Most of the things that Geoff didn’t want in his war room had been thrown off to the side, and he made a note to yell at the people who had left them to clean up their shit themselves. But at the moment, Geoff was trying to piece together the next big heist for his crew.

They had spent so much time recently dealing with their own issues, but they (and Kerry) were the only ones who knew about it. As far as anyone else was concerned, the Fake AH Crew was slacking. They hadn’t been out on the streets, doing what they normally did in forever, and Geoff had been told that the other crews in the city were starting to test the waters. The B-team portion of the crew had been attempting to keep everything in check, but they weren’t as well equipped or as used to those kinds of situations as the main crew. So Geoff was working on trying to put all the other criminals in the city in their place.

It would also be going better if he wasn’t in the middle of his own personal fucking sitcom.

Geoff had only been on his own and away from everything for fifteen minutes by the time Gavin opened the door and peeked inside, smiling weakly.

“I thought Jack told you to help watch the kids,” Geoff said, only glancing at Gavin briefly before resolutely staring down at the marked-up old map spread across the table.

“I am, but cat-Michael said he’d take care of it while I came to get you,” Gavin said.

“Why…?” Geoff asked slowly, taking a drink from his bottle and tapping a point on the map that had been circled many times in various colors. The peak of Mount Chiliad was a common rendezvous point for the crew after a heist, and it had worked well enough in the past that Geoff was considering using it again.

“There’re more of us. Up on the roof. And I’m not sure what to do…” Gavin said, glancing back the way he’d come.

“I feel like this has happened often enough by now that you ought to have some idea. Just go deal with it and don’t let anyone fucking die,” Geoff said, slowly tracing out a new route to the tip of Mount Chiliad. A helicopter would be needed to make it up that way, but that wasn’t too bad, since helicopters were generally quite easy to come by and ended up showing up in most heists. They were really quite useful.

“Yeah, but I really think you should come. I think there’s a centaur Michael trying to jump off the roof,” Gavin said, pointing down the hall.

Geoff looked up quickly, frowning, his pen pressing against the paper and an ink spot spreading from the tip of his pen and making a messy blotch on the paper. “Please tell me I didn’t just hear what I thought I heard,” he pleaded, hoping that he had seriously misheard and he didn’t have someone else trying to jump off the roof of a twenty-story building.

“Hey, Gavin, kitty-Michael is screaming at me to get you back upstairs ASAP,” Ray said calmly as he passed behind Gavin, his DS open in front of his face and a handful of charging cords draped over his neck.

A chorus of shouts came faintly from the roof, the sound spilling through the windows in the penthouse, and Geoff leaped to his feet, pen dropping from his hand. He snatched up his bottle of whisky as he and Gavin rushed toward the fire escape and the roof.

Geoff practically tripped over the windowsill in his rush to get out onto the fire escape, and as soon as his feet touched the metal staircase, hooves smacked against it heavily and set the entire thing shaking. Geoff shouted, grabbing at the railing, and Gavin paused halfway onto the fire escape.

“Oh, god, why did you do that…” a young Ray said shakily, but it wasn’t the little-Ray that had been running around recently. This was a little kid, about the same age, wearing only a T-shirt. A pair of cat ears poked out of his dark hair, similar to hybrid-Michael’s, except his entire bottom half seemed to be that of a cat as well. Right now, his ears had drooped against his head and he slid off the back of the other alternate weakly.

Gavin had been pretty accurate with his description of what was going on, since Geoff found himself staring at a small centaur. Even though magical-Michael looked to be about the same age as little-Michael, he still stood almost as tall as Geoff because of the brown horse body that was about the same color as magical-Michael’s hair. What Gavin had failed to mention were the wings currently folded against the horse body, which somehow made even less sense to Geoff than an alternate version of Michael being a young centaur. Centaurs didn’t normally have _wings_ , did they?

“What the hell is going on?” Geoff snapped as Gavin slowly crawled out the window to stand next to him.

“I tried to tell you, Geoff,” he pouted as magical-Ray and magical-Michael looked around at them. “There was a whole ‘nother group of alternates on the roof when we brought the kids up.”

“Did you die?” a young Ryan called down, and Geoff looked around to see two young Ryans peering through the chain link fence around the edge of the roof. It was a little difficult to tell them apart, though Geoff assumed that magical-Ryan was the one with a tiny witch’s hat perched on his head that looked like it came from a dollar store around Halloween.

“Told you I could fly!” magical-Michael hollered up, putting his hands on his…hips? Horse-human connection?...proudly. “Come on, Ray, let’s go tell the others!” Magical-Michael clomped a little awkwardly up the stairs to the roof, the weight and strength of his strides making the fire escape vibrate.

Magical-Ray leaned against the railing of the fire escape, legs shaking, and he waved a hand after magical-Michael. Geoff looked between the kids and then sighed, scooping magical-Ray up. The little cat kid let out a surprised yowl, his ears perking up and tail puffing out a little as he stared up at Geoff with wide eyes.

“Come on, kid. Let’s get you back behind the fence before you fall off,” Geoff sighed, trudging upstairs with Gavin following along behind him. Geoff had only wanted to plan out a heist to get the crew back in working order. Dealing with mystical creatures that happened to be alternate versions of his crew hadn’t been a part of that plan.

Hybrid-Michael opened the gate in the fence to let Geoff and Gavin in, and Geoff took a quick glance around the kids’ area. Little-Ray and little-Michael had taken up points on top of the playground equipment, leaning on the plastic edge and listening eagerly as magical-Michael boasted about his flying ability. Little-Gavin sat at the top of the stairs leading into the pool, where another small Gavin was swimming. Geoff swore he saw a large, fish-like tail splash up behind magical-Gavin, and a wheelchair sat nearby with what looked like a giant fishbowl in place of the seat.

Magical-Ray was pulled from Geoff’s arms by another Geoff, who had a larger version of the hat magical-Ryan wore on his head. Magical-Geoff looked magical-Ray over, and then nodded once and set magical-Ray on his paws on the concrete. The cat kid was still a little shaky and he stayed close to magical-Geoff and magical-Jack, who looked almost identical to Geoff’s Jack. Except when, moments later, his shape became shimmery and fluid until a dog stood in the same place. Magical-Ray smiled and wrapped his arms around magical-Jack’s furry neck.

“What the hell were you thinking?” Geoff and magical-Geoff barked at the exact same time, rounding to two of the Michaels on the roof. The others exchanged nervous glances, but Geoff at least didn’t care much. Magical-Geoff stomped over to magical-Michael, and Geoff glared at hybrid-Michael, who crossed his arms over his chest and scowled.

“It’s not my fucking fault!” hybrid-Michael protested, while magical-Michael complained loudly in the background.

"You owe the jar a dollar,” little-Ryan said, popping up next to Geoff’s shoulder with magical-Ryan at his side. Hybrid-Michael’s scowl deepened and he flipped the kids off and Geoff sighed heavily, shoving his hand down.

“Knock it off. You two, get out of here. Go…go play with the Gavins or something,” Geoff griped, frowning at the two young Ryans and then glancing aside at Gavin. Gavin stared at him, at the two boys, and then his eyes widened and his mouth opened in realization as he nodded.

Clapping his hands down on both of the Ryans’ shoulders, Gavin steered them away from Geoff and hybrid-Michael, saying something about going for a swim. Magical-Ryan wryly pointed out the lack of swim suits, to which little-Ryan just laughed.

“Now, how the hell could you let anyone jump off a fucking roof. And I don’t care that he has wings. That was dumb as dicks, dude,” Geoff snapped, planting his fists on his hips.

“You just swore way more than I did,” hybrid-Michael muttered grumpily. “Besides, I already fucking _told you_ , I didn’t do anything! Me and that Geoff there were trying to keep the stupid horse kid thing from jumping off, but your Gavin left the fucking gate open, and that Michael ran off with his Ray on his back, screaming for us to look at what he could do.”

Geoff sighed heavily and rubbed at his forehead, fist tightening around the neck of his whisky bottle. He took a large drink, the alcohol burning the back of his throat pleasantly, though he was pretty sure he needed way more than that one drink. If only his planning break had lasted longer…Geoff was missing it already.

“Okay, you know what, fine, whatever,” Geoff grumbled, shaking his head. “Just get out of here. Go tell your Jack we need more room for people, and then you’re taking over for my Ryan and sending him up here instead.”

“ _What?_ ” hybrid-Michael shouted, his eyes widening. “You’re fucking punishing me for Gavin’s dumbass stunt? Make _him_ go watch all the creepy Ryans. I told you, I didn’t do shit!”

“I know you didn’t do shit, and that’s why you’re leaving, because you didn’t do anything to try and prevent stupid shit from happening,” Geoff snapped back. “And I’m not sending Gavin because I don’t need a member of my crew to wind up dead. I’ve got something for him to do, too. Now go before I have to shoot you.”

Hybrid-Michael glowered for a moment and then growled and shoved past Geoff, slamming their shoulders together as he stormed off the roof and down the fire escape. Geoff rubbed at his shoulder, wincing slightly as he turned to the Gavins and Ryans. He caught sight of magical-Michael with his arms crossed and his lower lip jutted out in a pout, and little-Ray and little-Michael talking to him from the playground, while magical-Geoff looked magical-Ray over more thoroughly, talking to him quietly. Whatever was going on over there, Geoff’s pointy-hat-wearing alternate seemed to have it handled.

Geoff moved over to the swimming pool, and magical-Gavin poked his head up over the edge, eyes bright and a grin plastered on his face. “Tidal wave!” he screeched, and Geoff had just enough time to register the large green fish tail come up out of the water and to jump away before water splashed out from the pool, soaking the ground and parts of Geoff’s suit.

Little-Ryan and magical-Ryan started laughing, little-Gavin insisted that magical-Gavin do it again, and Gavin stifled a chuckle behind his hand.

“What the hell?” Geoff griped, shaking his arm in an attempt to get the water off his sleeve. “A little warning next time? Or better yet, no next time.”

“He did shout ‘tidal wave’,” magical-Ryan pointed out cheerfully, and magical-Gavin nodded, though he was sinking down further into the pool and out of Geoff’s sight.

Geoff groaned and shook his head, deciding he’d let other people deal with this. He had a plan to finish, and he also needed a change of clothes now that half of him was dripping wet and kind of cold. “Gavin, go send tell one of the Rays to come up here and watch them for a bit. Preferably one that doesn’t have rabbit ears,” Geoff ordered, pointing behind him to the fire escape. “And then I need you to clean my penthouse. It’s a fu…freaking horrible mess, and I’m sick of it.”

Gavin pouted and whined, “But, Geoff… I didn’t even make most of that mess.”

Geoff lifted an eyebrow at Gavin and put his fists to his hips. “Then what about the flour handprints on my kitchen cupboards?”

“Mogar broke a bag of flour and it got everywhere,” Gavin said defensively.

“And the bullet hole in my ceiling?”

“That was Ryan’s bloody fault, not mine! He got one of my guns…”

“The potting soil ground into the living room carpet?”

“Okay, _maybe_ I had something to do with that. But the Halloween guys were kind of at fault, too.”

“There’s also a chicken running around down there somewhere that worries me since I haven’t seen it all day.”

“Now _that_ was the Minecraft guys. They said they needed it,” Gavin protested. The kids looked back and forth between Geoff and Gavin with interest, grins spreading across their faces. Finally, Gavin sighed and pushed himself to his feet. “Fine… But what if I do find the chicken? What am I supposed to do with it?”

“Just get rid of it. I don’t want it in my penthouse. It sticks,” Geoff said, and Gavin slowly trudged off, looking like a kicked puppy dog as he went back inside. “I think we need more food,” Geoff muttered to himself as he looked around at the new alternates, pulling out his phone. Jack had left recently to do some shopping, and Geoff was pretty sure he could still catch him before he left the store.

Geoff had the phone dialed and pressed to his ear when he looked back around at the kids in front of him and caught sight of magical-Ryan pulling a loose thread from the sleeve of his shirt. He grinned at little-Ryan and little-Gavin with a proud, “Watch this,” and then his eyebrows came together in concentration. A moment later, the normal little thread became gold and shimmery, and Geoff’s eyebrows raised.

“What did you just do?” he asked, holding the phone between his ear and shoulder and reaching out slowly to touch the thread. Magical-Ryan’s grin got bigger and even a little arrogant as he handed the thread over. It was cool to the touch and felt different than a normal thread.

“I turned it to gold, of course,” magical-Ryan boasted proudly. “And that little piece was too easy.”

Geoff inspected the gold thread in the light, and he had to admit, he was more than a little impressed. “Wow,” he muttered, shoving the thread in his pocket. “I’m definitely keeping you.”

Magical-Ryan laughed, while on the other end of the line, Jack asked in confusion, “Who are you keeping?”

“You’ll see when you get back,” Geoff said, turning away from the kids and shifting the phone back into his hand. “Though I think we’re going to need more stuff than we’d thought…”


	13. Forgotten Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this chapter is a little bit shorter than others, but I was having a time trying to figure out what to do. Hence the update delay. But, regardless, I hope you all enjoy this most recent chapter!

“Incoming!” a young voice crowed, and Michael’s head whipped around so he could see down the hall behind him. Magical-Michael was leaning on the handle bars of magical-Gavin’s fishbowl wheelchair and pushing as hard and fast as he could (which, considering his horse half, was scarily fast), while magical-Gavin squealed with laughter and threw his hands up in the air.

The wheelchair and winged centaur rocketed down the hall and Michael shouted, leaping into the doorway of the bathroom before he was run over. Magical-Michael wrenched the wheelchair sharply to the side when he reached the bend in the hall, taking off into the living room while water splashed across the carpet from magical-Gavin’s fishbowl.

“You’re gonna fucking kill someone!” Michael screamed as they disappeared around the corner. A surprised shout arose, a split second before a loud crash and confused yelling.

Frowning, Michael leaned around the corner to see what had happened, and he snorted out a laugh at the sight. Hybrid-Ryan was sprawled on the ground, the couch beside him torn by the long horn that was currently lodged in the back of the couch. Magical-Gavin’s wheelchair had crashed into an end table, and more water spilled across the carpet, and magical-Michael had collapsed in the small puddle. Magical-Ray stood on the couch, the fur on his tail puffed up and eyes wide behind his glasses, and spooky-Jack looked up from a book and over at the mess with a heavy sigh.

“What the hell is going on?” papa-Geoff demanded, coming out of the kitchen wearing an apron spotted with flour. Vav peered around the corner, and little-Michael and little-Gavin popped up in the doorway as well, both of the kids’ faces and hands covered in colored icing and batter.

“That was so fast!” magical-Gavin laughed, grinning down at magical-Michael. “Let’s do that again!”

“No!” spooky-Jack said firmly, setting his book aside and going around the couch to try and help hybrid-Ryan detach himself from the couch. “You guys shouldn’t be running inside. That’s why there’s a playground upstairs.”

“Yeah, but I couldn’t get Gavin up there all by myself,” magical-Michael complained, getting up from the floor and shaking the water from each of his gangly legs. He shook his wings, puffing up the fluffy feathers.

Chuckling to himself, Michael backed out of the living room, leaving behind the sounds of papa-Geoff and spooky-Jack berating the magical kids, magical-Ray complaining about how they had scared him, and hybrid-Ryan tearing up the couch further in his attempt to free himself.

Michael wandered back toward his room, patting his pockets, even though he knew that there was nothing in them. He’d been walking around the penthouse like that for the last hour, trying to figure out where the fuck he’d set his phone down at.

“Hey, you didn’t take my phone, did you?” Michael asked as he passed Gavin’s computer room, frowning at the group inside. Little-Ryan and magical-Ryan sat at the computer, playing one of the many games that either Gavin had already had or the kids had installed out of boredom, while Minecraft-Ray and Minecraft-Gavin stared at the screens in awe. No matter how often they saw things like the television, computer, phones, electric lights, dishwasher…anything Michael was used to, they found it so odd and strange, even after being around as long as they had.

But after the Minecraft guys busted Ray’s Xbox when they were left unsupervised one day, they weren’t even allowed to touch a light switch. So they just watched with interest when anyone else used anything.

Little-Ryan glanced over his shoulder and lifted an eyebrow at Michael, and magical-Ryan didn’t even look away from the game. “Why would we take your phone?” little-Ryan scoffed. “I have my own.”

“I could get a truck full of new phones if I wanted. I don’t need yours,” magical-Ryan said dismissively.

“You know, I always thought kids were supposed to be nice and helpful. You guys are even worse assholes than the grown Ryans sometimes,” Michael griped, backing out of the room before he got another sassy or sarcastic response from a ten-year-old.

Scratching his head as he tried to remember where the fuck he’d last had his phone, Michael stepped into his room and paused, one foot through the doorway. Mogar perched on the edge of the bed, holding Michael’s cellphone really close to his face as his squinted down at the screen.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Michael blurted, crossing the room in a couple long strides and snatching the phone from Mogar’s hands.

“Who is Lind-say?” Mogar asked, breaking Lindsay’s name up with a frown as the odd word was forced from his throat.

“What?” Michael asked absently, turning his phone over in his hands to make sure it wasn’t damaged in any way. Mogar didn’t have a good track record for being delicate with breakable objects of any kind, and Michael didn’t need to go get another phone.

“Lind-say. You have a note from this person,” Mogar said, standing up and pointing at the phone. “It kept making noise, so Mogar made it stop. Lind-say sent many notes.”

Michael turned the phone over and flipped through his messages. Like Mogar had said, there were quite a few texts in a row from Lindsay, getting more and more insistent that Michael answer her. The final message just said, “I’m coming up, and you better be ready when I get there.” It had been sent a minute earlier.

For a moment, Michael stared at the text, trying to process it, and then he swore and threw his phone in his pocket, dashing out of his room. He _knew_ he’d forgotten something! Him and Lindsay had had this day planned for three fucking months, but in the chaos of all the alternate people bullshit, it had completely slipped his mind. And now Lindsay was coming upstairs, to this crazy mess, which was something Michael did not need.

“Where are my fucking shoes?” Michael hollered, racing into the living room just as his magical counterpart had just a couple minutes earlier. Hybrid-Ryan had apparently just decided to stay sitting on the floor, even though his horns were now disentangled (though a piece of fabric dangled comically from one horn), and Michael leaped over his legs, skidding into the wall beside the door.

“Where’s the fire?” spooky-Jack asked, and Michael kicked various pairs of shoes aside until he uncovered his boots from beneath everything else.

"Forgot a date, I gotta go,” Michael blurted, shoving his boots on his feet and launching himself at the door of the penthouse. He wrenched the door open and hurried outside, and not a second too soon. As soon as Michael closed the door behind him again, the elevator dinged and the doors slid open.

Lindsay stepped out of the elevator, adjusting her bag on her shoulder, and she paused in the hallway. “There you are,” she said. “Why weren’t you answering your phone?”

“Oh, uh, it got shoved underneath shit in the kitchen,” Michael said dismissively, taking a breath. “I thought we were meeting around noon?”

“Michael, it’s almost one. I’ve been waiting around for you for an hour now,” Lindsay huffed, crossing his arms over her chest.

Michael blinked and looked down at his watch, and it told him exactly what Lindsay had. It was almost one o’clock. He just didn’t know what had happened to his day. “Oh, shit, I’m sorry, Linds. But, hey, let’s just get going now. We’re only an hour behind, right?” he said, smiling and trying to usher her away from the penthouse. The quicker they got out of there, the more likely he could hide this whole mess from her.

Of course, it was right at that moment, when Michael was sure they could get away without incident, when a loud crash reverberated from the penthouse, and Michael swore he could feel the floor shake.

“What was that?” Lindsay asked warily, looking around Michael to the penthouse.

“Where did you _get that_?” Ryan hollered inside the penthouse, and Michael winced, glancing over his shoulder.

“Nothing. I’m sure it’s fine. Probably just Gavin being a little shit. C’mon, let’s go,” Michael said quickly, reaching out to try and steer Lindsay back toward the elevator.

“Michael did it!” a Gavin of one form or another shrieked, and it was followed by another thud.

“Just Gavin, huh?” Lindsay said, looking over at Michael with an arched eyebrow. “Is this why you want to leave so quickly now? After ignoring me for so long?”

Michael hesitated for just a moment and then nodded quickly, but before he could answer, his own voice came from behind the door. “That’s bullshit! I didn’t do anything!”

“Stop swearing in front of the kids,” Jack insisted, and Michael groaned inwardly, letting his head fall in his hand.

“Okay, what the hell are you all up to?” Lindsay demanded, brushing past Michael. He grabbed at her arm, snatching her jacket and pulling her back toward the elevator.

“Just leave it, Lindsay. They’re just…fucking around. Please, can we just go? I already kept you waiting an hour,” Michael begged, but Lindsay slipped out of her jacket so Michael was holding the piece of clothing in the air as she marched up to the penthouse door.

Lindsay pushed her way into the penthouse, and Michael was hesitant to follow her, especially when she stopped dead in her tracks in the doorway.

Sighing heavily, Michael stepped up behind her, peering over Lindsay’s shoulder and into the living room. Ryan, his face paint streaked and messy, seemed to be stuck between hunting down hybrid-Gavin and hybrid-Michael, a torn and battered skull mask hanging from one hand. He stood between them, and hybrid-Gavin hid behind his wings. Little-Ray and magical-Ray crouched on the couch, watching what was going on with huge, matching grins on their faces. Spooky-Jack was trying to get in between Ryan and the two hybrids, though it was a little difficult to get between all of them, and papa-Geoff ushered little-Gavin and little-Michael back into the kitchen.

“Michael? What is this?” Lindsay asked softly, and when Ryan turned his head from one hybrid to another, he caught sight of their red-headed friend in the doorway and he froze, eyes widening. Michael felt about the same way as he put a hand on Lindsay’s shoulder and sighed, trying to figure out just how in the world they were going to explain this one.


	14. AH-Men

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look who's back! All the alternates we've come to love, with the addition of a few more. And some problems I wasn't quite expecting, but these things happen, right?

Geoff had walked into some odd things in his penthouse recently, to the point where he wasn’t even really surprised anymore. Bear man seemed pissed off and was threatening someone with his sword? That sucks, they probably deserved it. The Rays were causing mass confusion by switching around and pretending to be each other? Shocker. They’d give it up eventually, if you brought in the right people. The kids or Minecraft guys had broken something? They could get more things – Geoff would just have to work out a new babysitting schedule for them all.

What Geoff never expected to walk into, not after all this shit, was someone outside the main crew members hanging out in the penthouse. So seeing Lindsay on the couch really threw Geoff for a loop, and he stopped dead in his tracks in the doorway, arms loaded with new groceries. Jack bumped into his back because of the sudden stop, but that barely even registered.

Geoff didn’t remember asking Lindsay to come by the penthouse for anything. Sure, he’d been in contact with the B-team a lot recently – _someone_ had to run things while he was doing all this babysitting bullshit and his crew was unable to leave all together without the fear of the building burning down – but he hadn’t done it anywhere near here. Not since the Rays fucked up and let Kerry know what was happening, and keeping him quiet about it had been a real pain in the ass. But Geoff hadn’t wanted any of them near here, because this was hard enough for him to wrap his head around and explain to the alternates, let alone letting someone else in on it.

Instead, he decided it was probably easiest to blame Michael. After all, if Lindsay wasn’t there because Geoff or Jack called her, she was typically there to visit her boyfriend. So now it was entirely Michael’s fault that she was in the middle of the chaos.

Geoff had to wonder how long she’d been in the penthouse, and why the _fuck_ he hadn’t been warned, since she didn’t seem overly concerned by what was going on around her. Just curious. X-Ray and spooky-Jack were playing a game, watched on by Minecraft-Gavin, who had been given a disconnected controller and was trying to mimic X-Ray’s motions on it. Vav and hybrid-Ryan stood nearby, bickering about who knew what, though it was probably some ridiculous argument.

Magical-Ray sat on Lindsay’s lap, tapping away at a DS while she absently ran her hand along his tail, and hybrid-Michael sat at her feet, watching the game going on the TV. Lindsay kept glancing around at the different variations of people with interest, occasionally reaching out to touch hybrid-Michael’s pointed ears. His ears flicked back and away from her fingers and he huffed but he made no effort to actually move. Michael sat at the other end of the couch from Lindsay, arms crossed and shoulders hunched. He was biting his lip, staring down at the ground in front of him.

“What the fuck?” Geoff blurted, making people’s heads turn.

“Stop swearing in front of the kids,” Jack said gently, brushing past Geoff and into the penthouse. “Hi, Lindsay.”

“Geoff!” Michael cried, leaping up from the couch and nearly tripping over hybrid-Michael’s legs in his rush to get to the door. “I didn’t mean for her to find out, I swear. It’s not my fault.”

Geoff scoffed and shoved the grocery bags at Michael, who grabbed at them and stumbled back. Lindsay gently removed magical-Ray from her lap, getting up and setting him back on the couch, though the little cat mix didn’t even seem to notice. “No, it wasn’t Michael’s fault. He was just the one who forgot about our date for an hour and made me come upstairs to find him,” she said mildly, putting a hand on Michael’s shoulder and smiling at his scowl.

“Look, it’s been a little crazy around here, I think I get a fucking pass on that,” Michael griped, and Geoff sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Go take that into the kitchen. Get the rest from the car,” Geoff grumbled. “Make the kids help you and Jack put shit away. We’ll talk about this later.” Michael muttered something under his breath but went to deal with the groceries with no other complaint, moving quickly away from Geoff and Lindsay.

“You know,” Lindsay said after a second, “I was wondering what was going on with you all. I haven’t seen you much, except for that meet-up with Jack a week or so back. No one’s heard much from you. Michael’s been dodging my questions when I asked. While I figured _something_ was going on, I gotta admit, this was not what I was expecting.”

“It’s not what any of us were expecting,” Geoff said, pushing the penthouse door closed and moving inside to collapse on the armchair. Everyone else scattered around the room had generally resumed what they were doing, though Geoff noticed hybrid-Michael had slunk off and Vav and hybrid-Ryan’s conversation had quieted significantly.

Lindsay sat at the end of the couch, reaching out to touch magical-Ray’s paws. The kid’s tail flicked and he stretched out his toes, making Lindsay smile. “I’m surprised you’ve been trying to hide this from us for so long, Geoff,” she said slowly. “I know a lot of us aren’t the main crew, but we still are the crew. Don’t you trust us with any of this?”

Geoff frowned, crossing his arms over his chest, and watching as X-Ray got into what he was doing and shook his controller as he played, the motion mimicked by an eager Minecraft-Gavin. “I don’t think we need to drag the entire crew into this mess. Then _nothing_ will get done, cause we’ll be stuck here, dealing with a confusing crowd of look-alikes from other dimensions. We need someone out there, handling everything,” Geoff said.

“So it’s _not_ because you’re hiding this from us?” Lindsay asked.

“No, course not,” Geoff answered automatically, turning his frown to her. “Why would we do that?”

Lindsay lifted an eyebrow and shrugged, settling back on the couch. She turned to watch as Michael left the kitchen and went down the hall, hollering for the kids. “Because you’re secretive pricks that like to do things yourself? I mean, it was pretty clear that you were hiding _something_ ,” Lindsay pointed out. “It’s always obvious when Michael is keeping a secret – he gets all shifty and defensive and changes the subject really fast. And Kerry seemed downright terrified to talk to us a while back when he came back from a shopping trip. He just said he ran into Ray and talked to you.”

“Fine, maybe we were trying to hide it,” Geoff griped as spooky-Jack let out an indignant shout at something in the game, a sound that was echoed by Minecraft-Gavin. “But would you have even believed us if we’d told you?”

Lindsay looked around the room as she idly played with magical-Ray’s tail. Michael came back with little-Ray and little-Ryan in tow to help with the groceries, and Michael glanced at them before very quickly ducking out of the penthouse again. “I suppose it’d be a little unbelievable,” Lindsay admitted after a moment. “Still doesn’t mean you should’ve hidden it from us for so long.”

Scoffing, Geoff waved a hand dismissively, wondering if getting a drink was worth getting up after he’d just sat down. “It seems far less complicated this way,” Geoff said. “I _like_ less complicated. Less complicated is good. We could do with more less complicated around here.”

As if on cue, hybrid-Ryan popped his head in through the patio door (he and Vav had taken their conversation outside shortly after Geoff sat down), and he gnawed on his bottom lip nervously. “Uh…you might wanna come see this,” he said to Geoff.

“I think I’ll pass. Get someone else to deal with it,” Geoff said automatically, and the thought of that drink seemed a lot better now. At least it’d move him further away from the patio, so maybe they’d have to find someone else to figure out what mischief the alternates were getting up to now.

“It’s important,” hybrid-Ryan insisted. “I think there are more of us down there?”

Geoff frowned, pushing himself up from the chair. “What do you mean, ‘you think’? It should be obvious, right?”

“Not really. And one of them seems to be starting a fire,” Vav called through the open doorway.

Geoff immediately rushed out to the patio, slipping around hybrid-Ryan and being mindful of his long horns. Fires were not good. Fires were something that drew attention, something that had emergency services circling around an area like vultures. Not to mention, he didn’t need his fucking building burnt down cause some crew look-alike had too much fun with his Zippo.

Geoff leaned out over the railing of the patio, gripping the banister tightly as he stared down twenty floors to the ground below. Cars slid past the building, and he could see people moving around on the sidewalk and a small gathering outside the front doors, but from this height, it was impossible to make out any details or defining features.

“How the hell are you seeing _anything_?” Geoff demanded, and then a pair of binoculars were shoved in his face. He blinked and leaned away, grabbing them from Vav’s hand. “I suppose that works.”

Putting the binoculars to his eyes, Geoff adjusted them a bit so things were actually in focus, then turned his attention back down to the ground. The magnification really wasn’t bad – he thought someone must’ve taken these from the crew’s stash of supplies, perhaps even Ray or Ryan’s stock – and he could make out what was going on much better.

Down below was…his crew. Not like what they had seen – there were no monsters, no children, no superheroes in capes or animal hybrids. No, it was _his crew_. It looked just like the idiots he’d lived with and committed crimes with for years, from general appearances to clothing. Geoff frowned and stood up straight again, turning toward the penthouse. “Is Jack still up here?” he asked slowly, not entirely sure if he should be concerned about seeing another crew or if they had just moved downstairs for some reason.

Hybrid-Ryan slipped inside and poked his head into the kitchen. He was followed out a second later by a confused-looking Jack. Geoff sighed heavily and turned back to the railing. So it wasn’t entirely his crew. Unfortunately.

Though maybe who they were wasn’t the biggest issue at hand.

Vav had been right about the fire, though it wasn’t quite as bad as Geoff had feared. Flames crackled in the newly arrived Michael’s hands, the fire reaching up from his hands to his elbows, and most of the people in the street had scattered. Okay, so Michael seemed to control fire. They had a wizard and hybrids and video game characters and some kid of Rumpelstiltskin’s running around, why not an X-Man?

It looked as if super-Michael was yelling at presumably-super-Geoff. Which was an odd sight. Sure, Geoff was getting used to seeing his face everywhere, but this was like the Rays. It was Geoff in every way, as far as he could tell – suit and all. Super-Geoff seemed to be screaming, throwing his hands up in the air, and he slammed his foot into the cement of the sidewalk.

As soon as his shoe connected with the ground, there was a low rumble, and the building shook around Geoff. He squeaked and dropped the binoculars in his haste to clutch at the patio’s railing. Inside, he heard a few startled shouts and a kid scream in surprise, underneath someone’s shouted, “What the _fuck?_ ”

“What was that?” Jack asked from the doorway as soon as the small earthquake faded. Geoff stared down at the ground, at the look-alikes who had likely just had a pair of binoculars come clattering down on their heads, at a little bit of a loss. How were they going to manage a group of assholes who seemed to have some, potentially dangerous, skills?

“New people,” hybrid-Ryan supplied. “I think it was them, at least.”

“Yeah, it was,” Geoff mumbled, slowly letting go of the railing. “We should get down there, Jack. Before they destroy something important.”

Jack ducked back inside, hollering for someone to make sure the groceries got put away, and Ryan was in charge of keeping things in check while he and Geoff stepped out. Lindsay looked up as Geoff and Jack stepped into the living room again, one hand gently smoothing out the fur on magical-Ray’s tail, which had puffed up comically.

“What’s going on?” she asked, and Geoff snorted, waving his hand dismissively when she started to get up.

“Normal shit. We’ll be back in a minute,” he said, barely pausing to throw on shoes before he left the penthouse with Jack right behind him.

Geoff considered himself really fucking lucky that there wasn’t another earthquake in the time it took for them to reach the street. A street that was mostly deserted, and Geoff hoped it stayed that way, and that the cops didn’t decide to take a look at the Fake AH Crew members who seemed to be holding fire. Literally.

Though Geoff thought himself doubly lucky that he left the building to find super-Michael without fire in hand, so he was facing what looked like his usual crew.

“Ah! There’s two Geoffs and Jacks!” super-Gavin cried as soon as the two crew members stepped outside, and the rest of the new crew turned to look.

“Well that’s weird,” super-Ray said, and Geoff realized he was wearing sunglasses instead of regular clear-lensed glasses, and it almost looked like his eyes were closed behind them.

“What the fuck did you _do?_ ” super-Michael shouted, rounding on super-Gavin, who squawked and threw his hands up between him and super-Michael.

“I didn’t do _anything_ ,” super-Gavin whined.

Super-Jack frowned and said forcefully, “Gavin had nothing to do with any of this. As far as we’ve seen, he’s _never_ been capable of something like whatever this is. And after all the time he spent trying to be the Flash and travel through time using sheer speed, I think we would’ve discovered this part of his abilities.”

“Well what the hell else could’ve happened?” super-Michael demanded, and Geoff groaned, rubbing at his forehead and the constant headache behind his eyes.

“Ryan, can you make him shut the fuck up, please?” super-Geoff sighed, and miraculously, super-Michael didn’t pipe up with a retort like Geoff’s Michael would’ve.

A little confused, Geoff looked up again to see super-Michael and super-Ryan staring each other down, and as Geoff watched, the tension in super-Michael’s body bled out until he seemed considerably more relaxed. Super-Ryan broke eye contact first, glancing over at Geoff and Jack. Super-Michael frowned and crossed his arms over his chest but stayed silent, stubbornly turning his gaze straight down to the ground and the binoculars lying at his feet.

“So if it wasn’t Gavin, and it’s far less likely to have been any of the rest of us, what’s going on?” super-Ryan asked.

“Why don’t we go inside and -” Jack started, but he was cut off by a young voice behind them that made Geoff jump.

“How did you _do_ that?” little-Ryan asked, and Geoff spun around to face the teenager. Little-Ryan stood in the doorway of the building, staring at super-Ryan with wide eyes and a grin on his face, and Geoff very quickly decided that little-Ryan shouldn’t be around this version of himself much either. He didn’t need to get lectured at by the kid’s dads again.

“What are you doing here?” Geoff demanded, and little-Ryan shrugged, looking away from the superpowered crew and up at Geoff.

“Dad said I should stop helping with the groceries and just go outside or something. But my brothers locked the fire escape so your Gavin couldn’t go up and help werewolf-Ray out of…something. So I couldn’t go up either. But I saw you guys leaving and wanted to see what you were up to. Who’s that?” little-Ryan said, finally pointing at the new crew.

Geoff just stared at the kid for a moment, opening and closing his mouth and wondering just where to _start_ with all of that, but Jack beat him to it.

“Ryan, get back inside,” Jack said to little-Ryan, who huffed and folded his arms across his chest, but made no move to go back in. “You all, get inside as well, before the cops show up. We can explain well enough inside.”

“Cops are already on the way,” super-Ray said, staring off down the street. “They’re a few blocks out and calling for backup.”

Geoff swore and shoved at little-Ryan, getting a little shout in protest as the teenager stumbled back. “Get inside. _Now_. Everyone, out of sight before they get here. I refuse to have a shootout, or whatever the hell it might turn into, in front of a building I’ve been keeping safe for years.”

“You know, we can handle a few cops,” super-Geoff scoffed, and Geoff glared at his look-alike over his shoulder.

“I’m sure you can also destroy my building in the process. Get your asses inside, leave the cops alone, and we’ll explain everything. But you are _not_ going to cause problems for my crew, or the kids that are upstairs, or anyone I’m watching after, cause you _can_. We’ve got more than enough assholes upstairs who are willing to destroy this place, we don’t need more,” Geoff snapped.

There was some grumbling and complaining, but they at least managed to get the new group of assholes inside before any cops could even see the street.


End file.
